Question: "Should I Stay Or Should I Go?"

Posed by: the mutant Disney dorks that make up the cast of "American Idol."

Consequences: Joe Strummer rolling in his grave; surviving members of The Clash killing themselves so they, too, can roll alongside him.

Promise to myself: I will never, ever click a link with the words "American" and "Idol" in them again. Seriously. There's a reason I have never watched this show, you know. And now I know, for certain, what it is.

Warning: The following video may wound your soul, especially if you like The Clash.