Check this out...

 

 

 

That is the cover for the new Blake Lewis album, Audio Day Dream. The album comes out on December 4th. As soon as I saw this, I immediately looked up one of those weird-holiday calendars just to see if December 4th was "Stoned Astronaut's Day" or something. It's not. However, December 4th does fall halfway between AIDS Awareness Day and the anniversary of Pearl Harbor, so we can only assume that Blake Lewis is trying to provide us with some comedy in an otherwise tragic week. Blake, our country's AID sufferers and WWII vets have asked me to thank you.

 

 

[PS - So this is what happens to Aurora Borealis during its 8 off-months.]

 

 

"American Idol" is coming back in January to captivate huge audiences and crush the four remaining pop stars that didn't get their start on reality TV (watch your back, Alicia Keys). This season of "AI" will feature a couple big changes. Once the show gets to the Hollywood level -- i.e. the final 24 -- contestants will be able to play instruments when they take the stage. This will give some of the more musically-inclined contestants a chance to showcase their abilities. Where was this rule when Bo Bice was around, dammit?!? This could've changed everything!

 

"American Idol" will also be cutting back on the celebrity mentors that dominated last season. Creator Nigel Lythgoe says:

 

We got such good mentors [last season] that we forgot about getting across who these kids were, their backgrounds and families.

 

So that means less of J. Lo's ass and more of Sanjaya's sister's rack. Is it a good trade-off? Tough to say. Either way, if you're an aspiring "American Idol" contestant, you might want to ask for a guitar for Christmas.

 

I'm going to ask right now, before the show starts back up: Can we please set a limit this year on how many "AI" contestants get to become famous after the show ends? It's really getting ridiculous. I'm not trying to be anti-"American Idol" or anything like that, but we have to stop letting every single finalist from the show become famous afterwards. Much like kids forgoing college for the NBA, this surplus of ex-"American Idol" pop stars is diluting the talent pool and lowering the overall level of play. Oh sure, you get your Kelly Clarksons and your Carrie Underwoods, but for each one of them, there are dozens of failed pop stars who could've used a few years in the D-league. Let's all make a promise to try to keep it to 3 or less famous ex-"Idols" this year. It's best for us, and it's best for the kids.

 

 

It's an anal rape joke. Get it?

Ex-"American Idol" contestant Corey Clark may be headed to prison. Clark was accused of harassing his estranged wife, trespassing on his father-in-law's property, and violating a restraining order that his wife had gotten against him.



Also, if that doesn't interest you, this story includes a photo gallery of Kim Kardashian.

Simon Cowell has been named the 3rd richest TV star on a new list from Forbes, trailing only Oprah and Jerry Seinfeld. So next time someone insults Simon Cowell for being a jerk, he can cry all the way to the bank...



...then he can tell the bank teller what a horrible job he's doing at depositing his money.

"American Idol" host Ryan Seacrest is continuing his domination of all things media by producing a new show based on the life of David Hasselhoff. Seacrest will serve as executive producer on "Tales of the Hoff," which was written by the same guy who wrote "The Drew Carey Show."

Hasselhoff will star as himself. The show will be fictional; however, it will be largely based on The Hoff's real life. E! compares the idea to Larry David's "Curb Your Enthusiasm."

So let's see...

The American Idol Tour is halfway over, and ticket sales have been surprisingly bad. The reason for this trend is pretty obvious...

Yamin will precede his tour with television appearances on "The Bold & The Beautiful," "Rachel Ray" and VH1's "Top Twenty Countdown."

The reigning champ of "American Idol" has unleashed her first single on the world.

The American Idol winner will be premiering a single in a week.

Idol: The Musical has shut down after just one day, due to lack of sales.

"The Next Great American Band" will premiere on FOX this October. There's a big problem with the show, besides the fact that it's at 8:00 PM on a Friday and no one between the ages of 18 and 35 will watch.

Simon Cowell and the creators of "American Idol" are working on a movie to be released in the summer of 2008. The movie will be based around a so-called fictional reality show, which if you haven't already guessed, will be almost exactly like "American Idol."