Shoutmouth | R. Kelly http://www.shoutmouth.com/ The Source for Music News en-us Shoutmouth hourly 1 http://backend.userland.com/rss Ranking the Tracks on R. Kelly’s ‘Double Up’ by Song Concept http://www.shoutmouth.com/index.php/news/Ranking_the_Tracks_on_R._Kelly%E2%80%99s_%E2%80%98Double_Up%E2%80%99_by_Song_Concept Sun, 16 Dec 2007 19:08:23 GMT Double Up contains 18 tracks, each of which is brilliant in its own unique way. If you think "Trapped in the Closet" is hilarious, well, you ain't seen nothin'... ]]> Double Up contains 18 tracks, each of which is brilliant in its own unique way. If you think "Trapped in the Closet" is hilarious, well, you ain't seen nothin'... http://www.shoutmouth.com/index.php/news/Ranking_the_Tracks_on_R._Kelly%E2%80%99s_%E2%80%98Double_Up%E2%80%99_by_Song_Concept Fall Out Boy Gets Kelz-ified http://www.shoutmouth.com/index.php/news/Fall_Out_Boy_Gets_Kelz-ified Thu, 15 Nov 2007 22:15:09 GMT Patrick Stump, best known as "the singer of Fall Out Boy... no, not Pete Wentz," decided to do some drunk R. Kelly karaoke last night. Here's the video...

 

 

 

 

This comes courtesy of the website FriendsorEnemies.com, who wrote the following note under the video:

 

What's better than hearing Patrick cover a song by a dude who likes to pee on 14 yr olds? NOTHING, that's what.

 

How many times must we go over this? R. Kelly ain't got time to be ID'ing every girl he meets in the club. Haters. Anyway, since Stump put his spin on an R. Kelly song, I thought I would return the favor on behalf of Kelz, by putting an R. Kelly spin on a Fall Out Boy song. Here are the lyrics to FOB's "Dance Dance," followed by the Kelz-ified version.

 

"Dance Dance"

 

FOB lyrics:

 

She says she's no good
with words but I'm worse
Barely stuttered out "A joke of a romantic"
Stuck to my tongue
Weighed down with words too over-dramatic
Tonight it's: "It can't get much worse."
Vs. "No one should ever feel like..."

 

Kelz-ified version:

 

She know she fly

But I'm the mothaf***in' champ

She said "be romantic"

I said "use that tongue, tramp"

She be pullin' all this bullsh*t

While I'm sippin' on Patron

She be gettin' all dramatic

I say "bitch, leave me alone!"

 

FOB lyrics:

 

Dance, Dance
We're falling apart to half time
Dance, Dance
And these are the lives you'd love to lead
Dance, this is the way they'd love
If they knew how
Misery loved me

 

Kelz-ified version:

 

Dance up on me, girl

I'm-a take you to my house

Yeah grind up on me, baby

Now get the f**k out

This is the way I'm livin'

You always be questionin' why

If you knew me, baby

You'd know I'm a platinum type of guy

 

FOB lyric:

 

I only want sympathy in the form
Of you crawling into bed with me

 

Kelz-ified version:

 

Doublin' up for me is like, routine, playa

 

 

Stump

Kelz

 

 

]]> Patrick Stump, best known as &quot;the singer of Fall Out Boy... no, not Pete Wentz,&quot; decided to do some drunk R. Kelly karaoke last night. Here&#39;s the video... &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; This comes courtesy of the website FriendsorEnemies.com, who wrote the following note under the video: &nbsp; What&#39;s better than hearing Patrick cover a song by a dude who likes to pee on 14 yr olds? NOTHING, that&#39;s what. &nbsp; How many times must we go over this? R. Kelly ain&#39;t got time to be ID&#39;ing every girl he meets in the club. Haters. Anyway, since Stump put his spin on an R. Kelly song, I thought I would return the favor on behalf of Kelz, by putting an R. Kelly spin on a Fall Out Boy song. Here are the lyrics to FOB&#39;s &quot;Dance Dance,&quot; followed by the Kelz-ified version. &nbsp; &quot;Dance Dance&quot; &nbsp; FOB lyrics: &nbsp; She says she&#39;s no good< > with words but I&#39;m worse< > Barely stuttered out &quot;A joke of a romantic&quot;< > Stuck to my tongue< > Weighed down with words too over-dramatic< > Tonight it&#39;s: &quot;It can&#39;t get much worse.&quot;< > Vs. &quot;No one should ever feel like...&quot; &nbsp; Kelz-ified version: &nbsp; She know she fly But I&#39;m the mothaf***in&#39; champ She said &quot;be romantic&quot; I said &quot;use that tongue, tramp&quot; She be pullin&#39; all this bullsh*t While I&#39;m sippin&#39; on Patron She be gettin&#39; all dramatic I say &quot;bitch, leave me alone!&quot; &nbsp; FOB lyrics: &nbsp; Dance, Dance< > We&#39;re falling apart to half time< > Dance, Dance< > And these are the lives you&#39;d love to lead< > Dance, this is the way they&#39;d love< > If they knew how< > Misery loved me &nbsp; Kelz-ified version: &nbsp; Dance up on me, girl I&#39;m-a take you to my house Yeah grind up on me, baby Now get the f**k out This is the way I&#39;m livin&#39; You always be questionin&#39; why If you knew me, baby You&#39;d know I&#39;m a platinum type of guy &nbsp; FOB lyric: &nbsp; I only want sympathy in the form< > Of you crawling into bed with me &nbsp; Kelz-ified version: &nbsp; Doublin&#39; up for me is like, routine, playa &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; http://www.shoutmouth.com/index.php/news/Fall_Out_Boy_Gets_Kelz-ified R. Kelly's Real Thanksgiving Talk http://www.shoutmouth.com/index.php/news/R._Kelly%27s_Real_Thanksgiving_Talk Thu, 01 Nov 2007 20:53:56 GMT Like most 20-something white guys from Connecticut, I was psyched when R. Kelly announced a North American tour earlier this month.

 

But when the actual tour dates were announced, much to my chagrin, it was revealed that the NYC-area show would take place on November 22nd. That's Thanksgiving. First of all, why is R. Kelly playing a show on Thanksgiving? And more importantly, who would ditch their family on a holiday to go to an R. Kelly concert (in Newark, NJ, of all places)?

 

I was just talking to my colleague, petekennedy, who is also a big R. Kelly fan. We both want to see the concert, but being the family-oriented people we are, we're not prepared to leave in the middle of a holiday just so we can watch Kels perform the "Ignition" remix.

 

After discussing for a minute, we got to wondering what kind of person would bail on Thanksgiving dinner to see R. Kelly. And furthermore, what would that conversation be like? Hmmm...

 

 

KID: Well, that turkey was delicious, I'm outta here.

 

MOM: Wait, where do you think you're going? We haven't even had dessert yet.

 

KID: Mom, I'm going to see Kels!

 

MOM: Who's Kels? Do you have a girlfriend I don't know about? Is she from school? Why didn't you invite her over?

 

KID: Nah, mom. I'm going to see the R. Kelly concert.

 

MOM: You are NOT leaving Thanksgiving to see a concert. Sit back down, young man!

 

KID: Get the f... You know what? Mom, I'm not about to sit up here and argue wit you about who's goin' to a concert and who's eatin' Thanksgiving dinner... Real talk.

 

MOM: What? Oh no, my friend Madeline told me that R. Kelly is a bad influence.

 

KID: Just because your friend said she thinks R. Kelly is a bad influence... tell me mom... did she say they were other acts there... DID SHE SAY THERE WERE OTHER ACTS THERE?!?! How the fuck she know I was going for R. Kelly and not some opening act?!?! I've been your son for 16 years and you still listenin' to yo mothafuckin' girlfriends!! I don't know why you fuck wit those no-man havin' assholes anyway!! Real talk.

 

MOM: Do not speak to me that way, young man! First I tell you to clean your room, and you just throw everything under your bed, and now you're using that kind of language in front of your grandmother. I oughta...

 

KID: Always accusing me of some bullshit, when I'm just tryin' to have a good time!! "Son, you did this... Son I heard ya did that." Don't you think I got enough bullshit on my mind?!? Real talk. H-hold up. Didn't I just mow the lawn the other day without you even asking? Yeah, your ass was smiling then! Real talk.

 

MOM: You're skating on thin ice, mister. I told you after you got a D minus on your report card in science that you were not to make any plans with your friends for two weeks. Especially something like a concert. And on Thanksgiving night! To think!!

 

KID: Who got a D minus? I ain't got no damn D minus, girl. Is you tweakin'? You know what your problem is, you always runnin' off at the mouth tellin' grandma my mothafuckin' business! Real talk.

 

MOM: No D minus? I called your principal...

 

KID: You called my principal and what? Girl, my principal ain't gotta announce no grades for me. Real talk. Watch your mouth...

 

MOM: Excuse me?!?

 

KID: I don't give a fuck about what you talkin' about, I'm sick of this bullshit, I'm going up to my room, I'm getting my Playstation, and I'm-a get the fuck up outta Dodge!!! You bogus girl!! Real talk.

 

MOM: You're grounded.

 

And that's when the crying starts. Ah, Thankgiving of 1997, I remember it like it was yesterday. Anyway, that sucks about the scheduling, but hopefully I can catch the Long Island show on the 23rd.

 

 

 

 

]]> Like most 20-something white guys from Connecticut, I was psyched when R. Kelly announced a North American tour earlier this month. &nbsp; But when the actual tour dates were announced, much to my chagrin, it was revealed that the NYC-area show would take place on November 22nd. That&#39;s Thanksgiving. First of all, why is R. Kelly playing a show on Thanksgiving? And more importantly, who would ditch their family on a holiday to go to an R. Kelly concert (in Newark, NJ, of all places)? &nbsp; I was just talking to my colleague, petekennedy, who is also a big R. Kelly fan. We both want to see the concert, but being the family-oriented people we are, we&#39;re not prepared to leave in the middle of a holiday just so we can watch Kels perform the &quot;Ignition&quot; remix.< > &nbsp; After discussing for a minute, we got to wondering what kind of person would bail on Thanksgiving dinner to see R. Kelly. And furthermore, what would that conversation be like? Hmmm... &nbsp; &nbsp; KID: Well, that turkey was delicious, I&#39;m outta here. &nbsp; MOM: Wait, where do you think you&#39;re going? We haven&#39;t even had dessert yet. &nbsp; KID: Mom, I&#39;m going to see Kels! &nbsp; MOM: Who&#39;s Kels? Do you have a girlfriend I don&#39;t know about? Is she from school? Why didn&#39;t you invite her over? &nbsp; KID: Nah, mom. I&#39;m going to see the R. Kelly concert. &nbsp; MOM: You are NOT leaving Thanksgiving to see a concert. Sit back down, young man! &nbsp; KID: Get the f... You know what? Mom, I&#39;m not about to sit up here and argue wit you about who&#39;s goin&#39; to a concert and who&#39;s eatin&#39; Thanksgiving dinner... Real talk. &nbsp; MOM: What? Oh no, my friend Madeline told me that R. Kelly is a bad influence. &nbsp; KID: Just because your friend said she thinks R. Kelly is a bad influence... tell me mom... did she say they were other acts there... DID SHE SAY THERE WERE OTHER ACTS THERE?!?! How the fuck she know I was going for R. Kelly and not some opening act?!?! I&#39;ve been your son for 16 years and you still listenin&#39; to yo mothafuckin&#39; girlfriends!! I don&#39;t know why you fuck wit those no-man havin&#39; assholes anyway!! Real talk. &nbsp; MOM: Do not speak to me that way, young man! First I tell you to clean your room, and you just throw everything under your bed, and now you&#39;re using that kind of language in front of your grandmother. I oughta... &nbsp; KID: Always accusing me of some bullshit, when I&#39;m just tryin&#39; to have a good time!! &quot;Son, you did this... Son I heard ya did that.&quot; Don&#39;t you think I got enough bullshit on my mind?!? Real talk. H-hold up. Didn&#39;t I just mow the lawn the other day without you even asking? Yeah, your ass was smiling then! Real talk. &nbsp; MOM: You&#39;re skating on thin ice, mister. I told you after you got a D minus on your report card in science that you were not to make any plans with your friends for two weeks. Especially something like a concert. And on Thanksgiving night! To think!! &nbsp; KID: Who got a D minus? I ain&#39;t got no damn D minus, girl. Is you tweakin&#39;? You know what your problem is, you always runnin&#39; off at the mouth tellin&#39; grandma my mothafuckin&#39; business! Real talk. &nbsp; MOM: No D minus? I called your principal... &nbsp; KID: You called my principal and what? Girl, my principal ain&#39;t gotta announce no grades for me. Real talk. Watch your mouth... &nbsp; MOM: Excuse me?!? &nbsp; KID: I don&#39;t give a fuck about what you talkin&#39; about, I'm sick of this bullshit, I&#39;m going up to my room, I&#39;m getting my Playstation, and I&#39;m-a get the fuck up outta Dodge!!! You bogus girl!! Real talk. &nbsp; MOM: You&#39;re grounded. &nbsp; And that&#39;s when the crying starts. Ah, Thankgiving of 1997, I remember it like it was yesterday. Anyway, that sucks about the scheduling, but hopefully I can catch the Long Island show on the 23rd. &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; http://www.shoutmouth.com/index.php/news/R._Kelly%27s_Real_Thanksgiving_Talk The Funniest Song of the Year Finally Gets a Video http://www.shoutmouth.com/index.php/news/The_Funniest_Song_of_the_Year_Finally_Gets_a_Video Fri, 05 Oct 2007 00:50:01 GMT



This video cost approximately zero dollars, unless you count the cost of booze and cigars, in which case it's still under $100. Despite the financial cut-backs, the video is amazing. For those who haven't heard the song, "Real Talk" is a fight between R. Kelly and his girlfriend set to music. You never hear the girlfriend's voice, but you can infer what she's saying by the way R. Kelly flips out. Lyrically and concept-wise, it's the best song from Kels' Double Up album. ]]> When you make a song that is a 12 out of 10 on the comedy scale, you don't have to put too much effort into the video. That's probably why R. Kelly decided to make a dirt-cheap video for his song "Real Talk," which just happens to be the funniest song of 2007 (and maybe ever). This video cost approximately zero dollars, unless you count the cost of booze and cigars, in which case it's still under $100. Despite the financial cut-backs, the video is amazing. For those who haven&#39;t heard the song, &quot;Real Talk&quot; is a fight between R. Kelly and his girlfriend set to music. You never hear the girlfriend&#39;s voice, but you can infer what she&#39;s saying by the way R. Kelly flips out. Lyrically and concept-wise, it&#39;s the best song from Kels&#39; Double Up album. http://www.shoutmouth.com/index.php/news/The_Funniest_Song_of_the_Year_Finally_Gets_a_Video Prudential Center in Newark, NJ: What's Going on Here? http://www.shoutmouth.com/index.php/news/Prudential_Center_in_Newark%2C_NJ%3A_What%27s_Going_on_Here%3F Thu, 04 Oct 2007 16:41:53 GMT Today's announcement that R. Kelly would be playing at the Prudential Center in downtown Newark furthered confusion over just what kind of a venue promoters have in mind for the city. Seriously -- just what in the hell is going on here? Bon Jovi is playing 10 nights to open the place.

]]> Today's announcement that R. Kelly would be playing at the Prudential Center in downtown Newark furthered confusion over just what kind of a venue promoters have in mind for the city. Seriously -- just what in the hell is going on here? Bon Jovi is playing 10 nights to open the place. http://www.shoutmouth.com/index.php/news/Prudential_Center_in_Newark%2C_NJ%3A_What%27s_Going_on_Here%3F Fuck Court; R. Kelly is Touring North America http://www.shoutmouth.com/index.php/news/Fuck_Court%3B_R._Kelly_is_Touring_North_America Thu, 04 Oct 2007 16:00:59 GMT


Kels has announced only a handful of dates so far, but it is expected to be a 40-city tour when all is said and done. What might you see on this tour? Well... ]]> Although he is facing a looming court date for child pornography, R. Kelly has decided to launch a North American tour. God bless the man. Kels has announced only a handful of dates so far, but it is expected to be a 40-city tour when all is said and done. What might you see on this tour? Well... http://www.shoutmouth.com/index.php/news/Fuck_Court%3B_R._Kelly_is_Touring_North_America You's a Rock Star, Baby http://www.shoutmouth.com/index.php/news/You%27s_a_Rock_Star%2C_Baby Sat, 29 Sep 2007 20:00:46 GMT


We may finally have some clarity, courtesy of R. Kelly. ]]> When every rapper on Earth decided to start calling themselves a "Rock Star," it raised many questions. We may finally have some clarity, courtesy of R. Kelly. http://www.shoutmouth.com/index.php/news/You%27s_a_Rock_Star%2C_Baby Controversy Has Advanced R. Kelly's Career http://www.shoutmouth.com/index.php/news/Controversy_Has_Advanced_R._Kelly%27s_Career Mon, 24 Sep 2007 23:04:11 GMT 99% of the time, being accused of child pornography and urinating on a minor would be a bad career move. The other 1% of the time, your name is R. Kelly. http://www.shoutmouth.com/index.php/news/Controversy_Has_Advanced_R._Kelly%27s_Career R. Kelly Trial Postponed Once Again http://www.shoutmouth.com/index.php/news/R._Kelly_Trial_Postponed_Once_Again Tue, 04 Sep 2007 18:41:06 GMT R. Kelly's child pornography trial has already been postponed for a burst appendix (R. Kelly's) and a fall from a ladder (the judge). Now, the trial has been postponed yet again. http://www.shoutmouth.com/index.php/news/R._Kelly_Trial_Postponed_Once_Again Update: R. Kelly Not Planning Fall Tour http://www.shoutmouth.com/index.php/news/Update%3A_R._Kelly_Not_Planning_Fall_Tour Thu, 23 Aug 2007 21:09:51 GMT That's a good idea considering the whole "piss on you" trial and everything. http://www.shoutmouth.com/index.php/news/Update%3A_R._Kelly_Not_Planning_Fall_Tour