Oh my god. This week, I have the stupidest thing to ever be televised. "Emo is found in books, magazines, and even the hit movie Spider-Man 3. It is sadness, it's rage, it is pain!!!" All set to, naturally, a My Chemical Romance soundtrack.
ABC news searched the Internet for "emo" and took all sorts of parody sites seriously, and then asked teenagers about emo -- where they learned "emo is everywhere!"
The news people brought it to the attention of parents who wanted to know, "why didn't I know about this?!"
Oh, and the obligatory "emo points" thing is back, as is "cutting" -- which the news report claims "advanced emo kids do." That, and of course, suicide -- which is apparently brought about by listening to, of all things, Death Cab For Cutie. Well, it sounds emo, doesn't it?
However, the news would like parents to know that they should not be alarmed by "emo", and that merely looking "emo" may not mean the kid is really "emo". The news reporters are hilarious, talking about how serious emo culture is... and it wraps up with the discovery that one of the kids is a runaway who "shows the traits of emo."
Oh yeah -- and look under your kids' clothes and bracelets for "signs of the cutting." [Yes, he really said "the cutting," which makes it about ten times funnier than it would have been otherwise.]
Well, my head is about ready to explode. Watch this video for the utter insanity/hilarity of how seriously these people take "emo":
Remember: TRY NOT TO RESPOND WITH FEAR!!!!
If any local newscast can outdo this one, I'll be impressed. While I'm waiting, I'll be over here counting my emo points, and writing depressing poetry in my own blood.
