As such, we set out to analyze this opportunity and found the following similarities between Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and Howard Stern.
10. There are no gays in Iran, according to Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. There are also no gays on Howard Stern’s staff. Well, aside from George Takei. And Richard and Sal are actually pretty fucking gay. And then there’s Ralph…
9. Howard Stern is engaged to a gorgeous supermodel, Beth Ostrosky. Little known fact: Mahmoud Ahmadinejad’s wife is actually the top ankle model in the Middle East.
8. Both have a wrap-up show every day. Howard's is hosted by Gary Dell’Abate, who threatens Sal and Richard when they annoy him. Ahmaniejad's is hosted by an actual monkey. Oh, and they kill homosexuals.
7. Howard Stern says he is half Jewish. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad likes to cut Jews in half.
6. Howard Stern’s “Wack Pack” is full of people with funny names like Eric the Midget, Beetlejuice, Blue Iris, and Crazy Alice. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad’s Cabinet also is full of funny names: Manouchehr Mottaki, Gholam Hossein Mohseni-Ejehei, and at least seven dudes named Mohammad.
5. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad believes in keeping women separate from men. Ever see Howard’s studio? Robin is all but kept in a cage. Mahmoud approves.
4. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is always suspected of creating WMDs, including chemical weapons. Stern sidekick Artie Lange already has enough chemicals in his bloodstream to kill an entire village.
3. Speaking of weapons, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is always talking about building nuclear bombs. Artie, in the meantime, is always making bombs – ever see Beer League or Dirty Work?
2. Ex-staff members of Mahmoud Ahmadinejad end up dead. Much like Jackie Martling’s career.
1. Howard Stern has a small penis. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad obviously has a small penis, as well. He has to be trying to compensate for something.
