After the success of Round 1, we're back with Round 2 of the Shoutmouth Emo Poetry Contest. I've been receiving some pretty amazing emo poems over the past few weeks, and now it's time to present ten of my favorites. That's right, it's the Shoutmouth Emo Poetry Contest, the only contest where impressionable young kids submit their innermost thoughts, and I make fun of them before arbitrarily picking a winner who gets absolutely nothing for their trouble!
Let's take a look at some of the best emo poems I've gotten since last month. When we're done, my favorite poem will be rewarded with the honorary Black Ribbon. It's kind of like a blue ribbon, but way more emo.
Remember, as always, I mock out of love...
10) Secrets and Lies
scream and cry myself to sleepwith the pain in my heart still fresh
i live my life without really living
seeing nothing
hearing nothing
feeling nothing.
the black of my heart
now matches the black of my clothes
with the red on my wrists and neck.
my life is living hell
and you are the one who caused it.
you are the cause of the pain and loneliness,
all the secrets that you kept
all the lies that you told me
now my life is over.
This poem came from an anonymous submitter whose email address ended with "@comcast.net." Umm, I find it hard to believe that your life is so bad when your family can afford an outstanding high-speed Internet service provider. Do you realize there are people out there with dial-up? What about them, dammit?!! They're the ones who should be offing themselves, not you!!! Oh sure, your life might be an ongoing pattern of miserable failures rapidly spiraling out of control... but some people have to wait like 15 minutes to download an mp3!! I say count your blessings, anonymous emo girl.
9) The Black Law
Heat of a hollow misery,Maims so ill mind, constricting web,
Empty maze of still beating hearts,
Confusion even from bird's eye,
Retreat left, dead on the other end,
Right turn, an end nowhere seen,
Soul, inside colossal taintage,
Eyes bleed tears red, crippling heart,
Stabs lifeless motion, a scar leaks,
Under treacherous rule, tremble,
Hear squelching terror overview,
Cry empty mind, unruly death
Garnishing pretty the outside layer,
Sparkle happy eyes, smile joy,
Center torn ugly darkness,
Hide needed not, light can bleach souls, Ah, incredulous complicit, Eyes, sneering blank, spark judgment day, Cloak glaring muck black, show never, But inks, inch of inch, each drear day.
Jenna
Just as I was about to write something like "what a well-constructed poem," I noticed the phrase "colossal taintage." Now I can't stop laughing. Seriously, let's just move on...
8) Emo Haikus
glass, razor, or knife?
gun, over-dose, or building?
decisions are tough
f**k that skinny whore
she took me off her top 8
why is the world cruel
i cry to music
i want to kiss Gerard Way
and i am a dude
The 3 haikus above were sent in by Robert, who is not emo but decided to create some faux-emo haikus out of boredom. I have nothing to contribute here. These just make me laugh.
7) "I
don't care"
darkness covers the land
as the sun sets for good
this is my last night here
on this rotten earth
I'll hang from the tree
you'll find me in the morning
you'll walk by me and laugh
"that girls finally dead"
"took her long enough"
i've always known i wasn't wanted
god and the devil don't want me either
I'll just wander this earth
a lonely spirit having fun
ruinging other peoples lives
the ones like those who made me want to die
and then we'll see them
hanging from the tree
the only diffrence there is
people will probably care
but i won't
Lacey
This poem made me a little sad. I read this, and it sounds like the girl may honestly believe her life isn't worth living. That's unfortunate. So many young people don't realize the effect their life has on others, or recognize the number of people who truly care about them. It's like that movie It's a Wonderful Life, although I'm sure in this version, Mr. Potter steals George Bailey's Fall Out Boy CD, then George goes and leaves mean comments about Potter on his MySpace page before ultimately getting the album back via mp3 donations from his LiveJournal friends. "Teacher says, every time someone downloads pictures of Pete Wentz' genitalia on the Internet, an angel gets its wings!!"
6) Untitled
So many times I was scared
And nobody even cared
I wont regret this
And I hope you won't forget this
Where were you when I cried
Where were you when I bled
Where were you when I couldn't say a word
Where were you when I needed you the most
Now on my tombstone
Inscribe these words of my own
Where were you when I needed you?
steph
Dear Steph,
I was at the office, working overtime. Somebody needs to provide for this family while you're sitting in your room crying. You think Hot Topic clothing grows on trees?
Sincerely,
Dad
5) Suburban Sickness.
..".iPod IV's in XBox veins.....
Morenos run tha wire...red-white- & yellow ends...
Yeah its a shocker! / Plugged in 2 cut power,
A spider man's rival since coconuts & tribal
5 wives & 9 lives / Champagne & butcher knives if:
Champagne's just poppy wine,
Then a champ's pain's pliable
Yall hear me this time young timers??
See...these walls CAN talk...but they lie tho,
Mojitos next!
Gin & tonic..7-7's later like:
'ok mishi mishi whatcha need?...I mean...
Yo Y U still there leanin? / I done E-coli creamed in it,
Go see Permanente post-peeing..'
Checks flushed: she mumbles 'wait !' ..
I grumble: 'THEY !'...they cant be closed babe it aint th@ late..
Tears flowed down her face....
Apart she came...
Like a child made lego ship crashin down a flight o' steps,
Or a wooden roof in tha fuckin rain...the rain..."
- Apollo Spade
Is this poetry or a rap song? If I didn't know better I'd swear this was the new Lil Wayne joint. Truthfully, I have no idea how good this poem is. I got five lines in and decided I needed a drink. And it's 10AM right now. What can I say, this guy is persuasive.
4) Untitled2
Who put that safety pin there?
Not I.
The evil glares have got to stop.
I'm sick.
I'm sad.
I'm sorry.
You say you forgive me,
but
you don't.
Not really.
I'm sorry.
Every time something happens
you look at me.
At my arms.
I'm sorry.
I feel like I must hide every scratch
from your wondering eyes
because you make me feel
so guilty
for things I didn't do
I'm sorry
that I am not a person to you
anymore.
Just an unwanted
responsibility
No better than
a dog.
-Mad
Is this poem about me? Cause I love my dog, and I take great offense to that comparison.
3) Red On Gray
I am happy to be here with you. Here in this place where I am all alone. Poisoning my mind,
you, peculiar memory that seems to linger as a disease that has no cure.
I cut my wrists today, just to see the color red and taste the bittersweet essence of life upon my tongue. A beautiful dark shade against all of this gray and nothingness. Sitting there watching the splatters on the ground create a beautiful work of art. At first in vibrant glossy color and then eventually drying to dark almost black in this darkness as I lingered there watching, unable to move my eyes from it.
I reached out to feel it upon my fingertips as if to prove to myself it does actually exist. I felt the crust of it's dryness and in saddens I withdrew my touch.
This poem comes courtesy of Angela. You can find more of her poetry at http://www.myspace.com/redongray. She's pretty good. Along with her submission, Angela sent the following message:
I'm certainly no kid, but here, you can make fun of someone your own size. I'm glad you can find time in all your so important pent up so called reallity to crush the creative outlet of another's. As specially that of someone young who probably feels this place is the only place that understands them... whoa, what were they thinking... oh well, hopefully you won't have any hanged 13 year olds on your concious. Like you care. Stay inside your box if you can't see outside of it.
A conscience? Yeah, I've heard about those. Actually, I was gonna get one, but I think Target was sold out or something, so I got a Nintendo Wii instead. It was a little more expensive, but at least it's something I'll actually use. Anyway, I want to respond to Angela's email, because I think it's important that everyone understands the real motivation behind the Emo Poetry Contest. You see, I'm not trying to tear down anyone's creativity. Some people are taking this the wrong way, and thinking that I'm insulting emo kids. Untrue. I am a friend to the emos, and I appreciate the effort that goes into creating an emo poem. I'm just trying to help aspiring emo poets reach their full potential through repeated negative reinforcement. I'm like a football coach for emos. If kids are going to put in the time to craft an emo poem, they need proper inspiration to create the best emo poem possible. And that's where I come in.
(Also, every one of these poems was submitted voluntarily, so really, everyone should know what they're getting into. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to work on my new teen drama, "My Pent-Up So-Called Reality." I'm pitching it to the CW Network next week. Fingers crossed!)
2) The Angels Song
Why can't people leave things just the way they are?
No matter their statis.
Just leave it as it is.
They were nnot meant to be played with
Like this heart that has been broken too many times.
I wanna hear the song that the angels sing.
The song that would that would save me from this hell.
Why doesn't this song play to stop the dirty looks,tears and yells?
Please play your song, Angels from above. to take me away from this place!
This poem is by Steph (a different one). She sent it along with a message that said "Hope you hate it!" which made it my favorite email of the contest hands down. Creative and hilarious... that girl is going places. On the flip side, it's tough for me to take her seriously as an emo poet when both her poem and her email included exclamation points. This poem has it all: Angels, music, a broken heart, questions about society and a desire to leave the planet. But the exclamation point totally ruins it. C'mon Steph. Don't you know you're supposed to be depressed?
1) this is my poem'
About painThe pain is so unbearable
It reminds me that I'm alive
Alive for no reason yet to come
Tho I live with no purpose
I continue to live with the life I have
To make other lives seem worthwhile
I cry to remind myself that I still need to find
The reason that is for my existence
To find that reason I need to continue
Living with no purpose or a reason
That is why I can still feel pain
If I cant then I must be dead
Pain is only to remind you about your
Existence
Your being in thins world
-Francis
This person really gets it. You kids who don't think your life is worthwhile -- whether you're emo or just depressed -- you're missing the bigger picture. Even if your life is the worst thing ever, it's making other people's lives look better by comparison. You know how Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt go to crappy third world countries every few months because it's the only way they could possibly feel better about their already-amazing lives? You kids are like society's Darfur, and the rest of us are Brangelina. I'd say that makes you a Good Samaritan of sorts. You're like Mother Teresa, only if she cried a lot instead of helping the poor.
For helping to enlighten us all, I am awarding this poem the Black Ribbon for Round 2 of the Shoutmouth Emo Poetry contest. Congratulations, Francis, great job!
To all of the people who submitted poems, I really appreciate your efforts. It takes a lot of balls to submit your poems for public judgment (especially when most of you submit without running them through a spellcheck first). I hope you realize that I'm just joking around here, and that, while I don't particularly care about your well-being, I certainly don't wish ill on you either.
Now, on to the important news. We are upping the ante for Round 3. The winner of the next Emo Poetry Contest will receive an Emo Poet Prize Package, which includes:
A copy of The Hot Chick starring Rob Schneider on DVD
A bag of Skittles
A signed picture of Angels & Airwaves singer Tom DeLonge (signed by me, not by Tom DeLonge)
To enter, email your poems to tom@shoutmouth.com. You can also send parodies and fake-emo poems. The one catch is that you have to write everything yourself (i.e., no submitting poems you found online). The deadline is whenever I feel like it - probably mid-January - and anything that comes in too late will carry over until the next round. That's all. Godspeed, emo poets.
UPDATE 2/4/08: I know I said mid-January, but it's going to be awhile before I get to the next round of poems. It could be a long time. Everyone is welcome to keep sending submissions until Round 3 is posted.
