First off, the Eagles are still together.
Did you know this? I didn't, especially since they hadn't put out a new full-length studio album since 1979. Yes, that’s right: 1979. That’s 28 years ago. That's before CDs even existed. That’s when 8-tracks were still kinda cool. Hmmm. Well...
Sigh.
Anyway, Billboard.com is reporting that the Eagles are putting the finishing touches on a new album, with an extensive tour planned for 2008. Joe "I Like Big Tits" Walsh described the latest Eagles dropping as such:
Walsh says:
that all of the band members--himself, Don Henley, Glenn Frey and Timothy B. Schmit--wrote songs for the album, which he says "go in some really, really new, different directions. It's hard to compare to anything that I hear out there now." For his songs, however, Walsh "went rock 'n' roll," including one "extended" track with "a middle full of guitar statement" and another that's "full-on rock 'n' roll. I didn't want us to be too ballad-y here. We need some stuff we can play live, so I made sure there was that element in the record.
Let me do a quick analysis:
01. "The new album goes in some really, really new, different directions..." [We all got really baked together for the first time in 25 years.]
02. "It's hard to compare to anything that I hear out there now." [Lame, '70s stoner bullshit rock hasn't come into vogue again, so we're resurrecting it; we're completely aware that 50 to 60-year-old men will pay $100 plus per ticket, increasing our depleted cash flow. Sweet.]
03. Walsh "went rock 'n' roll, including one extended track with a middle full of guitar statement..." [Yeah, it sounds exactly like our old shit, and on this one track, I got really fucking high and went on a 20-minute guitar solo. Dude, I'm totally high right now. What the fuck is a "guitar statement"? Did I just make that up? Shit, that sounds badass.]
04. And another song is "full-on rock 'n' roll." [Yeah, man. It's FULL-ON rock 'n' roll, baby! ROCK 'N' ROLL 4-EVER! Hey, do you have any Oreos? I'm kinda hungry.]
