While Osama bin Laden is busy pushing back the release of his new video like it were Chinese Democracy, another terrorist leader is stepping up to the plate to fill the void of dickheaded threats.
Muhammed Abdel-Al has released a brand new book called -- and I swear I couldn't make this title up -- Schmoozing With Terrorists: From Hollywood to the Holy Land Jihadists Reveal their Global Plans - to a Jew! Abdel-Al is spokesman and senior leader of The Popular Resistance Committees, a Palestinian terrorist group based in the Gaza Strip. It's really only one committee, but no one has the guts to tell him.
In his book, Abdel-Al calls Madonna and Britney Spears "prostitutes" and threatens to behead the pop singers.
Here is an excerpt (via NME):
If I meet these whores I will have the honor - I repeat, I will have the honor - to be the first one to cut the heads off Madonna and Britney Spears if they will keep spreading their satanic culture against Islam.
If these two prostitutes keep doing what they are doing, we of course will punish them.
Now, few people know this, but I'm actually a Palestinian terrorist leader in my spare time. It's a thankless job, but what can I say, my hot tub doesn't pay for itself. Anyway, I wanted to release the following statement as a follow-up to Abdel-Al's message:
As my colleague Muhammed Abdel-Al has so beautifully illustrated, pop stars like Madonna and Britney Spears are spreading the message of Satan to the unsuspecting masses. Because people have no choice over what they watch and listen to -- at least that's how it is within my organization, so I assume such is the case with the rest of the planet -- the population is being destroyed by the illicit, Satanic ways of Madge and Brit-Brit. Also, did you see the Video Music Awards? Britney looked soooo skanky in that outfit. I would love to have the great privilege of beheading these harlots, should our paths one day cross. And hopefully they will, cause I'm totally going to Britney's comeback tour. I mean, I can't afford the Ticketmaster surcharges (curses to those heathens as well, LOL!), but I'm hoping maybe I can finagle something off Stubhub. Anyhoo, where was I? Oh yeah, Britney's new single is mediocre at best... and death to invalids! Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go strap a bomb to a six year old. Peace, playa!
