Fuel "Hemorrhage (In My Hands)"
Tactics Used: Strange location, windows, pictures, mysterious girl, raising of arms, running
This is a great starting point because it brilliantly displays several of the modern rock video tactics mentioned above. Take a look at where Fuel is playing. Seriously, where the hell are they? Is that an empty museum? Are they playing in the Seattle Space Needle? What's the deal? Never has a singer worked so effectively using a window. You can really feel Brett Scallions' inner pain as he tries to break through his glass barrier. Also, what's with this mysterious girl? When we first see her, she's lying on the ground, bleeding from her stomach. What kind of hemorrhage did she have? Then, all of a sudden, at the end of the video, with no explanation, she's fine. Amazing work here. Fine use of pictures and running as well.
Incubus "Warning"
Tactics Used: Strange location, windows, mysterious girl, letters
Incubus plays this video from what looks like an empty office in their financial advisor's building. Lots of windows. The girl in this video is the definitive mystery girl. Why is she worried about the time 10:24? Why is she wearing a hooded sweatshirt when it's obviously a nice day out? And what's with the screaming? Is she trying to save all of mankind by yelling, or is she just pissed that this is a rip-off of Radiohead's "Just" video? We'll never know. Regardless, she has a lot of letters on her wall.
Hoobastank "Running Away"
Tactics Used: Strange location, pictures/videos, mysterious girl, running, arms raised
Hoobastank decided to tape this video at the premiere for What Lies Beneath 2, apparently. These guys really upped the ante by surrounding themselves with videos of their mystery girl instead of just pictures.
Linkin Park "Crawling"
Tactics Used: Strange location, mysterious girl, mirror, water, rain, arms raised
This video begins with a hot chick looking in a mirror and splashing water in her face, and by the end of the video she's crying tears of blood. How mysterious!! And where is Linkin Park playing? Are they at the core of the Earth???
Puddle of Mudd "Blurry"
Tactics Used: Father/son, warehouse, window, alcohol = bad, driving
This is the ultimate father/son video of all-time, which is a true testament to Puddle of Mudd's professionalism. Singer Wes Scantlin starts out sitting in a window, but he never looks out of it. Pretty ballsy move. He then plays in an abandoned warehouse before reuniting with his son. The only problem here is that we know the woman in the video is the kid's mother. They should've added another random woman to make it more mysterious. By the way, I once saw this video in real-life; I was in a park, and some dude in a black shirt and backwards hat was pushing a little blond haired kid on a swing. I don't know what was more frightening: That it was identical to this video, or that the first thing I think about when I see a father playing with his son is Puddle of Mudd.
Three Days Grace "Animal I Have Become"
Tactics Used: Strange location, mirrors, pictures, alcohol = bad, arms raised, mysterious woman
Excellent use of mirrors in this video. This clip proves how terrible alcohol is. If you drink, hot chicks turn into evil demons. Hmm, looks like singer Adam Gontier has a rare case of reverse beer goggles. Hate when that happens. At the end of this video, Adam sits down at a random woman's table in a bar, then flips out and smashes her drink. Could you imagine if you were that woman? You be like, "what the hell is this guy doing?!?!?!"
Papa Roach "Scars"
Tactics Used: Alcohol = bad, strange location, forest?, window, candles, scars, mysterious girl, arms raised
This is the definitive "alcohol is bad" video of the 2000s. The girl is a little mysterious as well. She's really, really hot, and really, really drunk. And the singer doesn't like this for some reason? I don't get it. She's my dream girl. Papa Roach filmed this video in front of a burned-down house, but it kinda looks like a pseudo-forest. Nice work all around here.
Staind "It's Been Awhile"
Tactics Used: Candles, letters, pictures, strange location, mysterious girl, metaphorical scars
Aaron Lewis keeps all his letters and pictures of ex-girlfriends in a big gray box under his coffee table. Adorable or stalker-esque? Look at where the band is playing in this video. They found a giant empty room and filled it with about 6,000 candles. That's gotta be some sort of fire code violation. Unfortunately you won't find any arm raising in this clip. Aaron Lewis is far too sad to raise his arms. Lewis is to inner anguish what George Washington is to America. This is probably the best use of letter/lyric writing in a video I've seen.
Creed "Arms Wide Open"
Tactics Used: Arms raised, mountain, rain (meteor shower), water
For the record, it was extremely difficult to decide between this and "One Last Breath." This video doesn't have a ton of clichés, but it was a groundbreaking video because it introduced the mountain top to modern rock. Before Creed, tormented modern rock singers were forced to express their anguish at sea level. Now, they can express their anguish to the entire world from the top of the nearest mountain. This video changed everything. Also, rain is pretty dramatic, but how about a meteor shower? Yeah, what now?!?!
Nickelback "Too Bad"
Tactics Used: Warehouse, picture, window, driving, letter, mirror, father/son, snow (rain), forest
Who is buying all these warehouses for bands to perform in? Were they already abandoned, or did someone rent it out? Cause honestly, I would've chipped in a few more bucks and opted for a nicer place. There are so many videos I could've taken for Nickelback. I was THIS close to going with "Photograph" for obvious reasons. But I went with "Too Bad" because it has a very diverse selection of clichés. These guys really stretch the clichés to their limit. But then again, we are talking about Nickelback.
Tantric "Mourning"
Tactics Used: Strange location, letter, photo, driving, mysterious girl, water, mountain
"Hey guys, where should we set up and play?... hmm, how about the front porch?" When this video came out in 2001, it became the most generic video of all-time, a title that it held for 6 years until it was beaten by the final video below. This video is so generic it's awesome, like a car that went over 100,000 miles and is back at zero. The mountain scene at the end of this is probably the funniest scene in music video history. It's so great, that when I was in college, I took a video production class. For my final project I made a video completely unrelated to Tantric/Creed/modern rock/mountains, but I threw in a scene of my friend posing on a mountain at the end because I felt like it was wrong to make a video without that in 2001. The teacher gave me a B- because, and I quote, "the video was really good until that last scene which made no sense whatsoever." Oh well. It was worth it. Bonus points to Tantric for playing slide guitar with a beer bottle.
Daughtry "It's Not Over"
Tactics Used: Strange location, mysterious girl, driving, mirror, arms raised, window
Where is Daughtry playing? Is this video set in a haunted mansion, or this a secret part of Grand Central Station that I'm not familiar with? This video is EXACTLY what I would expect for this song. Daughtry is a true master of flailing his arms around and expressing his inner anguish. Kudos to him for that. He does lose points for having the character in this video propose at the end. That certainly takes some of the mystique away from the girl in the video. Until the last scene I kinda thought the guy was just stalking her.
Hinder "Lips of an Angel"
Tactics Used: Letter, photo, mysterious girl(s), candles, random room (warehouse?), driving, arms raised/flailing (girl and guy), mountain, water
This is it. I mean, this video has it all. A mystery girl -- played by Sloan from "Entourage," no less -- plus a girlfriend who acts a little creepy and stands in the next room the whole time. Pictures, candles, a letter, a random room that may be a warehouse, tons of arms movement, mountains, water, driving... it evens switches back and forth from color to black and white to raise the mystique! I mean, what more can you ask for??? As of right now, this is officially supplanting Tantric as the most generic modern rock video of all-time. Congratulations, Hinder!!! You have mastered the art of modern rock video making.
THE PERFECT VIDEO
So, what would be the perfect modern rock video? Well, Hinder, Daughtry and Tantric are all pretty close, but here is my script for the perfect modern rock video:
The video starts off as a black screen, then we see one candle light up. It cuts to a girl in a kitchen, dumping three bottles of liquor down the sink at the same time. When all the alcohol is gone, she screams and throws one of the bottles against the wall, leaving glass all over the floor. Cut to an old warehouse, where the band is playing on a huge stack of 2x4's. Then we see the singer only, sitting on a couch surrounded by candles. He opens a lockbox full of pictures, then randomly pulls out a photo of the mystery girl from the kitchen scene. Cut back to the girl, sitting at the kitchen table with her hands covering her face, then back to the singer. The singer is now writing a letter, but he gets frustrated halfway through and crumples it up and throws it. Then we go to a scene of the band playing at the Smithsonian in Washington D.C. underneath the Wright Brothers' plane. The singer is clenching both fists in front of his head. After a quick cut, we're back to just the singer in a house, but now he's staring out a window and pounding the glass with both hands at once. He walks back to the couch, sits down and starts writing a new letter, but again stops halfway through. This time, he burns the letter using one of the candles, then throws it on the floor with complete disregard for any potential fire hazards. Next, the girl is in her bathroom, staring into the mirror and crying tears of high-grade gasoline. She splashes water in her face, but she accidentally knocks over a candle and lights the gasoline tears on fire. Cut to the band again, but this time they're playing on top of the Empire State Building. We then see the girl running away from her house as it is engulfed in flames, and then we see the singer driving away from his burning house. The girl runs through a forest while the singer drives through a massive rainstorm. Cut back to the band, but this time they're playing on one of Saturn's rings. The singer's arms are all over the place. All of a sudden the singer and the girl are meeting on the top of a mountain. How did they get up there in just 20 seconds? It's not important. They embrace, and then the rain stops and the camera does a 360-degree pan as they both stand at the peak of the mountain with their arms in a V. Cut back to the band, but this time they're playing from the center of the sun. Then the final scene takes us back to the singer. He's back on his couch and he's looking at the picture of the girl. Then, he sighs and puts it back in the box and puts it back under his coffee table.
I don't even want royalties. I just want this video to be made. If any band makes this video, not only will it be the greatest thing ever, but I will promote them on Shoutmouth as if they were the second coming of The Beatles. That's a promise.
