Upset with the recent tabloid stories about Britney's attempted suicide, Lindsay Lohan released this statement as a plea to her friend:
"Brit, lately I have been hearing so much about you in the media, of your addiction, attempted suicide, calling yourself the antichrist, but is this really true? I hope no. Britney, I have had many ups and downs like you, but to hook a sheet to the hanging lamp and tie it around your neck is absolutely immoral."
She continued, "I mean, really. Those things tear so easily. You gotta use something with more stability, like a rope or a phone cord. C'mon, you're better than that."
I'm just kidding. She never said that last part. And suicide is wrong. You know who I feel bad for in the Britney/Lohan/Robbie Williams ordeals? The people who run rehab centers. They're out there, trying to provide a valuable and life-saving service, and meanwhile a bunch of celebrities are making a mockery of the rehab process. The way things are headed, soon going to rehab will be like participating in student government; it may look nice on a resume but it will have no real world benefit whatsoever.
