Jermaine Dupri, possibly angry that Justin Timberlake didn't defend Janet Jackson after Nipplegate, has lashed out against JT in his new autobiography. Alright, he didn't really "lash out." He just said that Timberlake was ordinary-looking.
Here is what Dupri wrote (via the New York Post):
I think Justin Timberlake is a talented performer. But he's very ordinary-looking. He could be any skinny white kid from the suburbs of Orlando. You could go to the mall and find another Justin. He doesn't make his style interesting even when he's onstage. To me, he just doesn't look like a star.
He added:
I mean, the guy could barely bench 150, and I like my men to be built like Arnold. It would probably take me, like 8 beers before I even thought about hooking up with him.
I made that second quote up. But regardless, Dupri has a point. A bunch of girls I know have told me that if Justin Timberlake wasn't Justin Timberlake, he'd just be an ordinary-looking guy. Surprise surprise, fame equals attractiveness.
When offered the chance to respond, Timberlake's people declined. So, I figured I would write a response on behalf of Timberlake.
Dear Jermaine,
Hang on, let me get down on my knees so you can hear me. My people told me about your autobiography. I didn't get a chance to read it because I was too busy banging supermodels, but I heard you questioned my stunning good looks. What you don't understand is that, by looking completely average and still being wanted by every girl on Earth, I am accomplishing a much greater feat than had I been born incredibly good-looking. If you look like Brad Pitt, it's easy to be an international Playboy. But looking like a "skinny white kid from Orlando" and still getting Cameron Diaz, Jessica Alba, Scarlett Johansson and every other famous girl? That is something to be admired. Guys are actually out there saying to themselves, "I wish I could be Justin Timberlake for a day." When's the last time someone wished they could be Jermaine Dupri for a day? Maybe it happened once or twice in '98 while the "Money Ain't A Thang" video was on, but that's it.
Don't hate on me just cause I felt up your girlfriend.
Peace playa,
JT
