The Elliott Spitzer scandal has rocked the nation. It's all over the news, and everyone has questions. People want to know exactly what happened, how the state of New York will recover, and what the ramifications are for the Democratic Party. Even the morality of prostitution has come into question.
I don't care about any of that. What I want to know is: When's a rapper going to use Spitzer in one of their rhymes? We all know it's gonna happen; it's only a matter of time.
I've decided to help speed up the process by writing potential Spitzer-inspired lyrics for some of today's notable hip hop stars. If any of you rappers are reading this, just add a hot beat and you can have this shit on your MySpace by the end of the week.
Spitzer pays for ho's
I get ‘em for free
Got $400 million in the bank
Still don't spend a penny
Some girls even be sayin'
We'll pay you, Fiddy!
-50 Cent
Don't hate on a playa just because he wanna mack
Giuliani chased away the ho's, Spitzer brought ‘em back
New York, D.C., Atlanta, Alabama
He be pickin' up ho's like EXCUUUSE ME, MA'DAM!!!
-Ludacris
The world's oldest profession
Is Spitzer's obsession
Take this as a lesson
‘Bout making good impressions
Bust ho's, do ho's, get caught, resign
Hypocrite politician, you just another in a line
-Jay-Z
Spitzer is crooked
Spitzer is a snitch
Spitzer is a mothafucka
I could party with
-Snoop
I'm a do-er
You's a wisher
You's a ho
Like Elliott Spitzer's
Does you Spitzer
Does you swallow
I'm a leader
Y'all just follow
-Lil Wayne
So Spitzer did some shit
Now some shit's goin' down
He tried to keep it on the DL
It blew up, he gettin' clowned
Yeah, Spitzer's catching heat
But man, I can relate
Cause when you at the top
Everybody wanna hate
HATERRRRRS!!!
-Kanye
If I was governor like Spitzer, all day every day
I'd pick up ho's too, with tax reforms and Alizé
Smoke a blunt and pass some bills, then I'll pick me up some sluts
Now get the fuck out bitch, I gotta make some budget cuts
Y'all wanna go and judge (Yeah, you wanna judge)
‘Bout Spitzer's evil life (Yeah, his evil life)
Y'all don't realize it was revenge (Yeah, it was revenge)
Yeah, cause I fucked Spitzer's wife
Aww yeah... that bitch is fine
-R. Kelly
