Don Imus is back, baby! Oh wait, nobody's excited about that? OK, then I won't fake excitement either, cause, you know, I don't give a shit. Imus is back. The radio host/kinda-racist old man has signed a deal with New York radio station WABC.

 

The President of WABC said:

We are ecstatic to bring Don Imus back to morning radio.


Don's unique brand of humor, knowledge of the issues and ability to attract big-name guests is unparalleled. He is rested, fired up and ready to do great radio.

 

I never thought the "nappy-headed ho's" thing seemed that bad, but then again, I'm not a black woman, so I can't relate. If Imus had made fun of middle-class white males, and I had heard it, then I probably would've been just as offended as the Rutgers basketball team. Of course, that scenario would never actually happen in real life, because I don't listen to Imus.

 

Imus will host the WABC morning show, which airs from 6AM to 10AM. His first show will be on December 3rd. As his first order of business, he may want to thank DOG the Bounty Hunter for making him look not-quite-so-bad by comparison.

 

I don't know if people will ever truly forgive Imus for his comments. They definitely won't forget. But there are a couple things that could make it at least slightly better. First off, I hope the Rutgers women's basketball team goes undefeated this year, and we should all be rooting for them to win the national championship (unless they face your alma matter, then it's fine to root against them). Secondly, and this is a huge longshot, but what if Imus' insult was just the first in a long line of inappropriate comments aimed at every demographic on Earth? He's not a racist if he makes fun of everyone equally, right? So, Imus, here is a list of groups you have yet to insult:

 

-White people

-Men

-People with straight hair

-Native Americans

-Asians

-Aboriginees

-Jewish people

-Catholics

-Buddhists

-Sikhs

-Scientologists

-Midgets

-Guys with ED

-Dudes who wear two popped-collar shirts at once

-Albinos

-Hermaphrodites

 

Actually, come to think of it, the Herms have suffered enough. Imus, you make fun of the rest of those groups, and we might consider calling you an equal-opportunity jackass rather than a racist. No promises, though.