If Diddy keeps getting hit with these lawsuits, he's not going to have time to moisturize his situation and/or maintain his sexy.
This time, the plaintiff is a club promoter who says that Diddy's bodyguards beat him up during a June 1st encounter. The club promoter's lawsuit claims that he and Diddy "briefly exchanged social pleasantries" before three bodyguards attacked him for no reason. He suffered injuries to the face and mouth, and is now seeking $5 million in damages.
Right. Nothing happened, and Diddy just had his bodyguards attack for no reason. I'm going to lay out two scenarios, and you can decide which is more likely.
Scenario #1
CLUB PROMOTER: Hey, what's up Diddy? How you been?
DIDDY: Good, man. Great to see you!
CLUB PROMOTER: Awesome. Well, have a great night!
DIDDY: Will do. Hey, bodyguards, come kick this guy's ass.
Scenario #2
CLUB PROMOTER: Yo yo!!! I know you, man!!! You're Diddy!!!! Hey, check me out... "The D... The I... The Y... The D... The Y... Hold up, I'm Diddy!!!" Aww, yeah!!!
DIDDY: Ummm, yeah, that's fantastic. Which way to the coat check?
CLUB PROMOTER: Bro, hold up, hold up!! Listen, I'm a singer, you gotta take my demo. I'm the real deal, you know?... I ain't none of that fake shit on the radio... check this out... "Although we gooooo, to the ennnnnd of the roooaaddd, still I cannnn't let gooooo!!!!"
DIDDY: That's great. So, do I need my hand stamped or what?
CLUB PROMOTER: Bro, bro, you gotta get me onto "Making Da Band 5." I'm from the streetz, man. I ain't got nothing. I just need a chance to shine. My grandma, she got lung cancer. I'm all she got!!! Help me out, bro.
DIDDY: Listen guy, I'm just trying to drink some Grey Goose and relax, alright?
CLUB PROMOTER: Oh, I get it! You're such a big star, you don't have time for me!!! I gotcha man, I gotcha. Look at me, I'm Diddy, I'm a big fuckin' star, I don't talk to normal people!!! You're washed up, man!!! You're fucking washed up!!! You ain't been hot since "Mo' Money Mo' Problems!!" Yeah, I said it!!! Fuck you man, fuck you!!!! Why don't you die, motherfucka!!!
DIDDY: Will do. Hey bodyguards, come kick this guy's ass.
