Between radio, TV and the Internet, there's a ton of new music coming out these days. Unless you're paying constant attention, chances are some of it has slipped under your radar.

 

For all you pop music fans with no time on your hands, I've gone ahead and compiled some of the latest pop hits, to help keep you up-to-date. And for those of you who despise pop music, well, I've tried to make fun of the songs, too. Hopefully there's a little something for everyone.

 

 

The Hits

 

Soulja Boy "Crank That"

 

This is the #1 song on the charts right now. No, really, it is. Don't feel bad... I've never heard of it, either.

 

 

 

 

Kanye West "Stronger"

 

#2 on the charts. Kanye joins James Earl Jones on the short but prestigious list of black guys who have tried to sound like robots and pulled it off. Anyway, for those of you who haven't heard it yet, Kanye's new album is pretty good.

 

 

 

 

Fergie "Big Girls Don't Cry"

 

#3 on the charts. I'd make fun of this song, but how do you even make fun of a song with the lyrics "I'm gonna miss you like a child misses its blanket?" It's like giving money to the homeless; you want to do it, but you know it isn't going to help.

 

 

 

 

The Up-And-Comers

 

Nicole Scherzinger "Whatever U Like"

 

At first I thought this song would take the "Hollaback Girl Torch" as the current annoying pop song that everyone likes (the honor gets passed around, much like the Olympic torch, hence the name). But this one hasn't really taken off. I guess Fergie keeps the torch for now. By the way, her album is going to tank, which is unfortunate, because that means fewer Nicole Scherzinger videos.

 

 

 

 

Rihanna f/ Ne-Yo "Hate That I Love You"

 

Few people know this, but this song was actually written about me.

 

By Ne-Yo.

 

Weird, I know.

 

 

 

 

James Blunt "1973"

 

Could "You're Beautiful" have been a clever ploy to make all future James Blunt songs sound better by comparison? If so... it worked!

 

 

 

 

Matchbox 20 "How Far We've Come"

 

I learned more from this video than I did my entire junior year in history class. And I still got a 4 on the AP. It just goes to show, cheaters do occassionally win.

 

 

 

 

Boys Like Girls "The Great Escape"

 

This video shows a group of girls trying to fix a broken-down car. I'm surprised there aren't unicorns in it, too.

 

 

 

 

Jordin Sparks "Tattoo"

 

Steps to becoming a pop star in the 2000's:

 

Step 1 - Make the finals of "American Idol"

 

Step 2 - Put out a catchy love song

 

Step 3 - Anorexia

 

Step 4 - Put out a semi-edgy, semi-angry pop/rock song

 

Congratulations JS, you're halfway there!

 

 

 

 

The Brand New

 

Jennifer Lopez "Do It Well"

 

Jenny's back. Here is one of the first comments underneath the video on YouTube:

 

"i hate the beat - the lyrics suck and her video is kinda like get right."

 

Yeah, but the rest of the song is amazing.

 

 

 

 

Hayden Panettiere "Your New Girlfriend"

 

Cute? Check. Talented? Check. Legal? Check.

 

I'm not seeing a problem.

 

 

 

 

Britney Spears

 

Brit-Brit put out two new songs this week. The single, "Gimme More," is becoming a moderate hit (much to the surprise of this guy), but the more interesting of the two songs is definitely the leaked Internet track, "Cold As Fire." It sounds like Britney sucked down a whole package of helium-filled balloons before going into the studio. If you can't appreciate the comedic value of this song, well, you're missing out.

 

"Gimme More"

 

 

 

 

"Cold As Fire"

 

 

 

 

Ashlee Simpson "I Get Away With It"

 

This leaked song unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on your perspective) is overdubbed with an anti-piracy warning. This isn't what you'd expect from Ashlee, so you gotta give her credit for that.

 

 

 

 

Token Rock Pick

 

Foo Fighters "The Pretender"

 

Dave Grohl gets back to basics.

 

 

 

 

Token Indie Pick

 

M.I.A. "Bird Flu"

 

This song is f'in crazy. Expand your horizons and listen...

 

 

 

 

And finally,

 

The Classic Pop Song of the Week

 

Vanessa Hudgens "Come Back to Me"

 

Today, Baby V finds herself in the middle of a nude photo scandal. That's really all it takes to be the Classic Pop Song of the Week. Congrats, Vanessa! "Come Back To Me" takes us back to a simpler time, when you could safely walk down the street at night, and Vanessa's image was squeeky-clean. That's right, 2006.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

That's all for now. Hopefully you're caught up.