I think my esteemed colleague TomZ summed it up best when he said, "that is the stupidest thing I have ever read..." but that doesn't stop me from sharing this fairly ridiculous story with you anyway.
Why? Because that's the kind of girl I am.
One of the many celebrity gossip sites has an "anonymous informant" who claims to have had "steamy" online chats with Pete Wentz -- who she was hooked up with via a friend of his in a rather odd way.
The unknown source [who, in the chat transcript is revealed to be "Betsy"] said of their "meeting":
So in exchange for my offering Adam advice as to where movies could be filmed he offered up “the least I could do is give you a friend of mine’s screen name who you might have know of…Pete Wentz. I’ll ask and make sure he’s cool with it, just don’t give it to anybody.” etc etc. I didn’t tell a soul and Pete and I had totally confidential conversations since. Until he crossed the line…
Right off, this makes the story entirely dubious. Unless, of course, she asked for his screen name, which makes more sense. Her story makes it sound like he just pays for goods and services with Pete's AIM name or something, which I find hard to believe, considering that's just not how the world works.
But it gets better!
He asked me to buy these clothes from Clandestine Industries, his clothing line, and I did. Then he said I should model them for him and he promised he’d give me swag and tickets for the tour. I took some photos for him, not totally provocative but still none that I would take for free, and he’d tell me how hot they were and how he wanted me to take naked ones for him…..
If this story is remotely true, we're dealing with the dumbest woman on earth! One: models don't pay for their clothing. Two: Clandestine clothing is freaking expensive. The sweatshirt I want in the worst way costs, with shipping, about $85. If Pete Wentz was sex-talking someone and asking them to model for him, I'm pretty sure he could throw them a free shirt or two. The whole story reeks of lies.
The conversation transcript is fairly tame, but anyone who has read Pete's writings/journals would most likely dismiss it. I'm not re-printing it because it is both inane and insipid. I've seen better jobs in random LiveJournal fan fiction stories.
Finally, the super-secret informant says she was meant to meet Pete in person at a super-special party, but lo and behold, he was there with Ashlee in tow -- despite the anonymous woman saying he "laughed off" dating her seriously.
Here's her heartbreaking wrap-up:
Ashlee was there and my heart SUNK. I couldn’t believe he’d been saying these things to me while she was literally on the road with him. He definitely recognized me and we had plenty of akward exchanges in eye contact throughout the night (we were right next to the stage he DJed on and Ashlee’s VIP area).
Seeing as she "played hard to get" with him in the chats and didn't seem terribly interested, why would this be such a sudden and wild tragedy? Because this woman is making up one of the most poorly constructed "celebrity scandals" ever. Or, possibly, there is someone online pretending to be Pete Wentz, which makes this one of the most hilarious "celebrity scandals" ever. "Buy my clothes! Model them for me! Send me naked pictures! I'm Pete Wentz! If I wasn't, would I have xXxPeteWentz17268xXx as my screen name?"
Of course, Pete really is an easy target. Because he is generally regarded as a "commitmentphobe," anyone who writes about celebrities for a living can't wait for him to actually get out of dodge, and break the heart of a delicate "pop princess" like Ashlee Simpson. And of course, the obligatory Fall Out Boy fans who want him to be single because they're the ones for him want to see it happen, as well. But this? Come on. Give me something better.
If I'm wrong and all of this is true, well... Pete is a pretty crappy online suitor and this woman is amazingly stupid. But let's face it -- it's probably not, but everyone and their mother will be talking about it anyway, because that's what we do.
So... having said all that: do you buy any of this story?
