Dear Fall Out Boy,
I understand many people are asking you about your next album. I'm not sure why they are so desperate to have that album in their hands, seeing as Infinity on High isn't even a year old. They're kind of acting like you guys haven't done anything in five years and have just announced a comeback. To that end, I apologize on behalf of the over-eager masses, as I'm sure that feels like a lot of pressure.
That said, maybe you guys could come up with less imaginative ways to say, "we haven't really started it, but we have some ideas... we'd like to finish touring our latest album before really diving into the fifth one."? I only ask because the way you're describing the kind of, sort of in the works new album is getting weird and creepy.
First, you confused people by saying the new album would be "folk." Patrick and Pete, you both did this. I'm not sure why. In an attempt to explain it away, you said you meant it would be folk-like in terms of lyrics. Pete, one of the most easy to relate to lyricists of our generation, even said he meant a folk approach to the lyrics might make them "more relatable." Quick note: don't make up words if you are really trying to help people relate to you.
But it's Patrick who frightens me the most:
I always think of that total cliché that a record is like a child or a pregnancy even. There is a point where you're just going to have a record, like, 'Oh! It's coming!' And we're not there yet. I don't even know how far along it is. First trimester, maybe.
Dude. No. Just... no. That is not imagery anyone really wants to associate with your band! Don't go there. I mean, you're a guy, and it makes it incredibly creepy. I bet even the girl with the Web site devoted entirely to your thighs is slightly befuddled.
That said, if my math is correct [and I'd not count on that, as I'm not a mathematician] this statement means we should have a new Fall Out Boy album by sometime next summer, no? Sounds good. But take your time, don't rush it, and don't listen to other people too much just because you've had a taste of fame.
There's little that kills a band more quickly than buying into their own hype. Here's hoping you pull it off, even if you seem really confused about the whole new album thing and can't help but describe it in really, really bizarre and off-putting ways.
Much love,
pixie
P.S. Maybe Joe or Andy should handle the press for a while? Mull it over.
