So everyone and their cousin (as well as the daughter of their cousin's dentist) has an opinion about what they saw on American Idol tonight. For the first time, all twelve men were unleashed to the viewing public and given microphones for long enough that we can form coherent opinions about them. Right now, that's exactly what I will (attempt) to do.
For your convenience, here is my guide to the 'Idol' Guys. All ratings of course, are on my seemingly objective, semi- authoritative, though admittedly subjective 1-10 scale of 'Idol' excellence.
Rudy Cardenas, 28
9: Intonation
6: Comfort
6: Stage Presence
Rudy first auditioned with the Journey song "Open Arms." While that made him awesome in my book, the ‘awesome’ unfortunately stopped there. Tonight, Rudy's rendition of "Free Ride" was far from the tune's retro-glory in car commercials of yester-year. With an uncomfortable, muddled, and showtune-esque performance, he fell short of 'Idol' expectations. This was definitely not the way to open the show. Randy pegged his performance as corny, Paula as lively, Simon as non-distinctive.
Brandon Rodgers, 29
8: Intonation
9: Comfort
8: Stage Presence
Brandon is definitely the "boldest" of the bunch. With a resume that includes singing back up for Justin Timberlake and Christina Aguilera, this guy looks and sounds unstoppable. The problem is that he seems to know this. He busted through the gates and launched into a rendition of the Michael Jackson classic "Rock with you." I mean, c'mon. The guy is good--but really? Who. Does. That!?! Covering Michael Jackson on your first (solo) televised national performance is akin to the audacity of legions of girls who stand up at karaoke nights around the country and belt out "I Will Always Love You" with ½ of Whitney Houston's talent yet all of her drug- induced reckless abandon. It never works. Randy commented on the over-abundance of runs and riff-age, while Simon remarked that Rodgers had made a "safe and predictable" song choice. Simon was correct in his assertion that Brandon is "better than than."
Sundance Head, 28
6.5: Intonation
6: Comfort
6: Stage Presence
If Sundance Head was a super hero, his power would be turning bright red, and the symbol emblazoned across his chest would be a rollercoaster. Sundance turned more than a few heads with his audition song "Stormy Monday." It so ingratiated him with the 'Idol' producers that they used a clip of it to promote the show's talent this season. Mr. Head then took a turn for the worse when he fell apart in Hollywood where Simon questioned whether or not he had been "boiled." Through sheets of sweat and pitch-less histrionics, Sundance somehow fought his way into the last spot in the Top 24.
In contrast to his first-round audition, tonight's rendition of "Nights in White Satin" raised more than a few eyebrows as to how he made it this far in the contest.
He was as uncomfortable singing as I was watching, and the judges sat in disbelief. Now accountable to the public for their decision to include Sundance in the Top 24, Randy, Paula and Simon were quick to point out that he has abandoned his bluesy roots. Paula claimed that he picked the "wrong song," though Simon was more honest in his appraisal, letting Mr. Head know that had his first audition been this weak, he wouldn't have made it through to Hollywood.
Paul Kim, 25
7.5: Intonation
6.5: Comfort
7: Stage Presence
Paul Kim solidified his place as the Anti-William Hung weeks ago, when 'Idol' aired footage of his first audition. "If I Ever Fall In Love," my favorite song by Shai (ok, the only song by Shai) has never sounded so good. While I had high hopes for Paul, he really dropped the ball tonight. That said, he is still one of my favorites. He started low and nervously in his range with George Michael's "Careless Whisper" and just barely got his confidence up to finish the song. Simon defined the performance (correctly, in my book) as a 'third rate George Michael' impersonation, while Randy optimistically stated that Paul is one of the best singers and still has potential.
Chris Richardson, 22
8: Intonation
8.5: Comfort
8.75: Stage Presence
Ok, so this guy REALLY wishes he was Justin Timberlake. He plays up the Justin wardrobe, and attempts to mimic the classic JT whispered- falsetto- croon. The sad part is that Chris has a style of his own, and if he stopped to explore it, might find himself as unstoppable as our pal Mr. Brandon Rodgers. Chris began his attempt of Gavin Degraw's "I Don't Wanna Be" around the same time I received a text from one of my sisters simply stating, "Every one suks on American idol." Kids are so honest. Randy and Paula lauded the performance, while Simon concluded that Richardson's voice "sounded small" in the song.
Nick Pedro, 25
8: Intonation
7.5: Comfort
7: Stage Presence
Nick Pedro, who auditioned with "Fly me to the Moon" continued his anachronistic spree with "Now and Forever," a song from the underappreciated and already forgotten Richard Marx. Though Nick blew it last year during the Hollywood round, the judges were nice enough to give him a second chance. He cannot afford another performance as boring as this one. It was one big yawn. Randy pegged the performance as both boring and pitchy, Paula claimed it fell flat, though Simon encouraged Pedro with the sentiment that he'll be back next week. Well duh. Anyone who can capitalize on the phrase "Vote for Pedro" in a post-Napoleon Dynamite America should definitely scoot straight through to the top six- at least.
Blake Lewis, 25
8.7: Intonation
9: Comfort
9: Stage Presence
This guy knows what he is selling. Having auditioned with Seal’s “Crazy,” Blake’s most memorable moment so far in season six was his impressive beat-boxing skills in a group round “How Deep is Your Love.” With a background in boy-on-boy a cappella, he was one of the most seasoned veterans to grace the ‘Idol’ stage. Starting off seated, Blake delivered a competent and downright engaging rendition of Keane’s modern -rock track “Somewhere Only We Know.”
Randy was a believer despite the occasional pitch problem, while Paula commented on Blake’s “contemporary vibe.” Simon concurred, and stated that Blake was the first to “sound like someone from 2007.” Only time will tell if Blake’s energy and ‘vibe’ are malleable enough to make it through the ‘Idol’ gauntlet of mandatory stylistic variations that await all of the hopefuls.
Sanjaya Malakar, 17
7.8: Intonation
7.5: Comfort
7.5: Stage Presence
Sanjaya is most popular for being ½ of one of the rare sibling teams to make it through to Hollywood. From the first moments of his “Signed, Sealed, Delivered” audition, his spot in the Top 24 seemed guaranteed. His sister was cut during Hollywood week, though she still has an integral relationship with her brother’s performances and even hand-picked tonight’s song. Sanjaya might want to check and see if there is still air in his tires, because it looks a little bit like she is sabotaging him.
Sanjaya has an easy going delivery style, and seems to perform in slow-motion. His charm and comfortable smiles sort of make him a male version of “Corinne Bailey Rae.” Tonight, the young Malakar went back to the troth of Stevie Wonder and performed “Knocks Me Off My Feet.” Randy was not a fan, and questioned why he attempted another Stevie Song. Paula chimed in that despite his nice voice, there was no “force” in his performance. Simon defined it as a “waste of time.” The final nail in the coffin might have been when Sanjaya himself commented that he has less experience than his competitors. C’mon buddy- where’s your confidence?
Chris Sligh, 28
8: Intonation
8.5: Comfort
8.25 Stage Presence
Shoutmouth has already covered Chris’ meteoric rise from FCG (funny chubby guy) to potential teen idol. Last night Chris lost his momentum with an odd Mute Math (who? Don’t worry, I’ve never heard of them either) song called, “Typical.” Okay Chris. You’re an oddball. We get it. Despite Sligh’s talent, the performance was pretty weird. I think it might have just been the song. Randy and Paula pointed out a performance nuance (Chris was apparently ahead of the beat before the chorus) while Simon commented that it resembled a “weird student gig.”
Jared Cotter, 25
8.75: Intonation
9: Comfort
8.5: Stage Presence
Tonight, Jared won the distinction of being at the intersection of talented and non-memorable. Another guy who earned his stripes with a first round Stevie Wonder audition, Jared struggled on to Hollywood though he lost his job in the process. If his tremendous ego wasn’t leaking out of the corners of my television screen, I might want this guy to win. Unless he settles down a bit though, it might not happen for him. Through “One,” a song made famous by Brian McKnight, Jared delivered a credible performance, just not a very interesting one. Randy’s constructive criticism was that the end of the song was “weird.” Paula remarked that there is more to him than “interpretations” and Simon pegged this as an “unadventurous performance.”
A.J. Tabaldo, 22.
8.25: Intonation
9: Comfort
9: Stage Presence
I don’t really remember A.J. from the early rounds. That doesn’t matter though, because he kicks ass. He brought a great energy to the ‘Idol’ stage and sailed through the Luther Vandross tune “All Night Long.” It was one of the first moments in the night when I felt like dancing. Regardless of what the judges said, this guy is fun. Randy and Paula enjoyed themselves, while Simon thought the performance was “Theme Park.” There is always the chance that this guy gets lost in the hustle and bustle of the grueling weeks ahead, and we’ll have to see if he has the versatility to deliver a slow ballad or a valid rock tune.
Phil Stacey, 29
9: Intonation
7.5: Comfort
8.5: Stage Presence
I love this guy. This guy deserved to make it to the Top 12. Screw that, Top 4. He auditioned with the song “My Girl(s)” in honor of his wife who was too busy giving birth to stand outside his audition room and hug him upon receiving his golden ticket. Wench. Phil worked hard in Hollywood, and is one of the most worthy members still in the game. Tonight, he nervously sang Edwin McCain’s “These Are the Moments” directly to his wife. The song got away from Stacey at first, though he manned up and brought it on home. I think those are the scientific terms for it. Randy thought it was the best vocal of the night. Simon concluded that the beginning of the song was “monsterous” and that he didn’t “nail it” like Chris Daughtry might have done during his early stages in ‘Idol’ last year. Simon then gave a touching soliloquy about his respect for the viewing audience which served as a justification for his acerbic honest commentary. Hey, the guy is just being honest.
American Idol returns Wednesday 8/7c with the Top 12 Ladies of Idol.
