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Aflac is an insurance company that I've heard a lot of good things about. I've heard a good amount of these things from commercials that feature a very friendly-looking duck, and if you can't trust a duck, who can you trust? Nobody, that's who! Ducks are nature's most honest animals... unlike those bastards, camels.
The Aflac duck is a sensation in his own right. He may well be the most famous duck this side of Daffy and Donald. All he does is waddle around, shaking his cute little tail feathers, quacking "Aflac!" but what more do you need? He's a duck. He's not going to perform magic tricks for you or dance a jig. The fact that he can say Aflac is pretty phenomenal in and of itself.
Here's the thing about this duck, though. He spends a lot of time in his commercials trying to tell people to choose Aflac by saying "Aflac." When he goes ignored, he gets angry. I don't know about you, but I've met angry ducks in my life -- guess what? They bite. That's right, a duck who is being totally cool one second will turn on you faster than you can say Aflac. I remember the time I was at a petting zoo and playing with a duck who I'd named Bill the Duck. He was letting me photograph him and being cool... until a kid came running and screaming, "DUCK DUCK!!" I don't have to tell you what happened next, but I will: the duck bit the kid. It would have been tragic, if it wasn't so hilarious. The moral of this story is this:
Ducks bite.
The Aflac duck is a duck.
The Aflac duck will bite you if you anger him.
Now that I have alerted you to this grave danger, I am sure you are wondering, "well, how can I avoid angering the duck, and thus, not get bitten?" Great question, I'm glad you asked. It's actually very simple. Just get some Aflac ringtones, and it will be smooth sailing for you and that duck from that point forward.
