Thirty-three fans were arrested for underage drinking at a recent Family Values tour stop in Holmdel, NJ, according to Contact Music. Thirteen more were arrested on other charges, including marijuana possession and assaulting a state trooper.
The Family Values tour features Korn and Evanescence. It's funny, I always thought fans of those bands were 30-somethings who enjoyed chardonnay down at the yacht club, but apparently not.
This is just another incident in an epidemic of underage drinking arrests, which peaked at a recent John Mayer concert in Pennsylvania, when 63 kids were arrested for drinking. Some might say that the police have gotten out of hand, and need to focus on something else instead of busting kids for chugging Natty Lights at a Korn show. But I'm going to take the other side. Speaking as a former all-star of the underage drinking scene, the kids who get in trouble usually bring it upon themselves. So, as a public service, here is the Shoutmouth guide to underage concert drinking.
A) Always use a cup. If you're drinking out of a can, you're asking for trouble. Make sure the cup is not see-through.
B) Hide all empties, just to be safe.
C) Pick an illegal substance and stick with it. If you're smoking up while drinking while hitting the nitrous tank, you're asking for trouble.
D) Don't do anything stupid like breaking bottles, screaming or starting fights.
E) If security/police drives by, put your beer somewhere out of view.
F) If an officer does come up to you, be polite and talk as little as possible. It doesn't matter if he's being a huge dick, just sit there and take it. Always agree with everything a police officer says, no matter how ridiculous it is.
G) Everyone has one friend that likes to start trouble. Keep an eye on that guy.
H) Always drink in moderation. Just kidding. But seriously, obey rules A through G.
