[This article is by Tom of TakeThisSeriously.com]
For most people, being a professional athlete would be a great and thoroughly satisfying accomplishment. But for a lot of professional athletes, it's just not enough. You may have heard about suspended Tennessee Titans cornerback Pacman Jones, who recently decided to use his time away from the NFL to focus on a rap career. While Pacman is the latest athlete to give music a shot, he's certainly not the first (nor will he be the last).
Over the years, several athletes have ventured into the world of music. Some, like former White Sox pitcher Jack McDowell or former New York Yankees outfielder Bernie Williams, have been praised for their attempts.
Others, not so much. Below are the 15 funniest attempts at an athlete crossing over into music. But first, a few honorable mentions...
Chris Jericho
Jericho fronts a metal band called Fozzy. They have a late 80s/early 90s metal sound. They're actually not bad, especially when compared with the rest of the athletes found on this list.
Gary Payton
There are no words, so it's tough to make fun of him.
Andre Rison
Andre "Bad Moon" Rison guested on the Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes song "Rags to Riches." They really burned down the house with this one.
The 1985 Chicago Bears and the Super Bowl Shuffle
There were questions over whether or not this should count, because it was more of a team rally than an actual attempt to cross over into music. But either way, it's hilarious, so enjoy.
OK, now let's get to the real funny stuff...
15) Cedric Ceballos
Ceballos, a former member of the Phoenix Suns, now works for the organization, hosting a weekly webcast called "Nothin' But Net." But back in the early 90s, Ceballos enlisted the help of Warren G for the song "Flow On." Let's just say that lyrically, this was a departure from Warren G's normal work with Dre and Snoop.
Best line:
It's a West Side thang
Mic size slang
Winning battles ain't nothing but a chicken wing
I eat ‘em one by one
Good clean fun
No need to bring a gun, come and get me some
14) Oscar De La Hoya
De La Hoya's 2000 self-titled CD was actually nominated for a Grammy. But listen and try not to laugh. And while you're listening, keep in mind, this guy kicks the shit out of people for a living.
Best line:
N/A
13) Mary Lou Retton
Once Mary Lou Retton had her fill of gymnastics, she released a children's album called ABC Fun Fit Featuring Mary Lou Retton. Unfortunately, no clips of this album exist online. But this does...
12) Kobe Bryant
When Kobe decided to start a rap career, he recruited Tyra Banks to do the intro for his song "K.O.B.E." Some of his lyrics are extremely unfortunate in hindsight (see below).
Best line(s):
These women come and go
Like the wind they blow
&
Can't get wit ya
May the door hit ya
Where the Lord split ya
I figure, hourglass figures can be dangerous
Cause if their time runs out
They'll frame you for their clout
&
K-O-B-E
I L-O-V-E you
11) Chris Webber
Now this is when Webber should have called a timeout. Some say that Webber purposely threw his rap career in order to be traded.
Best line:
The inner city star
Hangin' in your titty bar
10) Roy Jones Jr.
In 2001, boxer Roy Jones Jr. released a rap album called Round One: The Album. The album included the standout track, "Y'all Must've Forgot," in which Jones basically recaps the highlights of his boxing career in rhyme form. If you had forgotten about the disqualification Jones received during a fight against Montell Griffin in March 1997, well don't worry, because Roy Jones the rapper is here to remind you.
Best line:
Will there ever be another Roy Jones? Probably not
Stopped Virgil Hill with a body shot
9) Barry Zito
A big Ben Folds fan, San Francisco Giants pitcher Barry Zito decided to unleash his inner singer/songwriter with emotionally raw tunes like "The Boy Next Door." Athletes are generally considered brash and cocky, but in his songs, Zito is... well... kind of a pussy.
Best line(s):
You look at me like I just slept with your mother
Don't judge me, I could be your brother
&
I got two sisters, and I know how girls can be
I will respect you, baby
8) John Cena
Being a beloved wrestler, starring in action movies, and appearing in a Subway commercial alongside Jared apparently isn't enough for John Cena. The wrestler decided to start rapping, even challenging fans to rap battles during WWE events (as seen in the video below). Sure, wrestling may be fake, but the hilariousness of Cena's rhymes is 100% real.
Best line(s):
I'm real, you're phony
My style's phat like Siragusa, Tony
7) Tony Parker
San Antonio Spurs point guard Tony Parker decided to get into the rap game earlier this year. The Frenchman released a video for the song "Balance Toi." It starts off decent, but then suddenly stops and turns into a Madonna-esque techno song. And oh yeah, he raps in French.
Best line:
Who knows? It's in French.
6) Ron Artest
After starting the worst brawl in NBA history, Ron Artest famously took time off from practicing with the Indiana Pacers in order to work on his rap CD. The song "Haterz" is a comic gem, as is "I Like My Song." Artest is like Tupac crossed with Eminem crossed with the "Barney" theme song, only not as good.
Best line:
Hey yo, it's your boy Artest once again
People say I can't rap
You think I give a UGGHHHH?!?!?
5) Deion Sanders
Deion ventured into music in 1995 with the album Primetime. His video for "Must Be The Money" is a classic; while it doesn't sound any more ridiculous than some other R&B hits of the era, it does feature Neon Deion rocking an all-pink suit with no shirt on underneath.
Best line:
Come on baby, sing my song
4) Allen Iverson
Under the alias Jewelz, Iverson recorded a single called "40 Barz" in 2000. NBA commissioner David Stern was not a fan of The Answer's work, probably because his lyrics were laced with homophobic slurs and talk of violence. Much in the same way Iverson combines athletic toughness with a sick crossover dribble, Jewelz combined basketball references with lines about murdering people. At Stern's request, Iverson decided not to release the song, but thanks to the Internet, it lives on in infamy.
Best line:
Everybody stay fly, get money, kill and f**k bitches
I'm hittin anything in plain view for my riches
VA's finest fillin up ditches, when n***az turn to bitches
Die for zero digits, I'm a giant y'all midgets
3) Shaquille O'Neal
Shaq started his musical career in 1993 with the album Shaq Diesel. He is perhaps best know for rapping about his biological father in 1994, and his guest appearance on the Fu-Snchickens song "What's Up Doc? (Can We Rock)."
Best line:
Who's the first pick? Me, word is born, and
Not Christian Laettner, not Alonzo Mourning
That's OK, not being bragadocious
Supercalifragilistic, Shaq is alodocious
2) Macho Man Randy Savage
Macho Man released a rap album titled Be A Man in 2003. The New York Post described the album by saying that it "defies the laws of physics by blowing and sucking at the same time." The title track was a Hulk Hogan diss, while the song "Perfect Friend" was a tribute to the deceased wrestler Mr. Perfect.
Best line:
Hollywood Hulkster, you're at the end of your rope
I'll kick you in the butt and wash your mouth out with soap
1) Muhammad Ali
They didn't call him the greatest for nothing. Just listen.
Best line: The entire song
You'll have to click here to listen to this gem. It's well worth it.
