Next up, a reunion show and a failed comeback attempt by Poison!
The finale of the surprise-hit VH1 show "Rock of Love," starring Poison front man Bret Michaels, aired last night. Michaels ended up choosing Jes over Heather, meaning he eliminated the blond-haired crazy chick and chose the pink-haired less crazy chick.
Yours truly had only seen one episode of the show before yesterday, but was roped into watching the finale with a group of friends. I gotta say, it was pretty entertaining. Reality shows are all stupid, but at least VH1 knows to take it to the extreme and make them as stupid and ridiculous as possible.
It's pointless to discuss whether Bret chose the right woman. It's a reality show; there is no right woman. But we can discuss the highlights. Here were my/my friends' favorite parts:
-Heather (the crazy chick) putting on a bona fide stripper outfit then calling it "my cute little sundress."
-Bret Michaels having a diabetes attack at dinner, then telling Jes she may have to jam a needle into his ass.
-Heather sleeping with Bret on their date, then harassing Jes about "sloppy seconds" when Jes left for her date.
-Heather's outfit and hair for the end of the show, which might have been the most ridiculous any human has ever looked.
-Bret asking the girls if they would consider both being his girlfriend. He tried to pass this off as a test of their true love, but I'm pretty sure he was just putting feelers out there and would've gone with it had they both said yes.
-The scene on the balcony where Bret looked all pensive and it seemed like he was struggling over the decision. You know that was filmed like 3 weeks before and he was thinking about football or something completely unrelated.
-When Bret and Jes accidentally wore matching bandanas. Funny on so many levels. Also, was there ever a scene when Michaels didn't wear a bandana? My friend Jay thinks he's going bald. My friend Chris asked whether he has them custom-made for his head. I wondered whether he clips them on like a yamaka.
-Jes telling Heather to fuck off at the end of the show. Jes is possibly the smartest person to ever appear on reality TV (meaning her IQ is at least 70).
-"Every Rose Has It's Thorn" playing during the climactic scene. Easiest editing decision ever? I say yes.
And finally,
-Heather getting kicked off, going crazy in the limo, and then suddenly remembering that she had gotten "Bret" tattooed on her neck. The moment she realized that thing was never going away was priceless. I guess the lesson is, if you're a girl and you go on a reality dating show, don't get the guy's name tattooed on your neck until you're sure you're going to win.
