Willie Nelson goes to a rave, Garth Brooks plays chess, Waylon might be a pedophile and Toby Keith raids his clip art folder.

Need your heart warmed before you head into the holiday season? The ass-kickin' Toby Keith is more than willing to oblige with "A Toby Keith Classic Christmas." The one-hour special (dude loves those things) is set to air on November 24. Bring out David Bowie for a "Little Drummer Boy" duet and I'm into it. Although that probably won't happen, Toby is presumably using this as a chance to plug his latest disc, the two-CD A Classic Christmas.

Well, not exactly. The Onion was burning up blogs yesterday with their on-point satire of country music's most sentimental songs, you know, the ones about 9/11.

 

The duo of Wayne McMurty and Tanya Bertram have penned "Go Ahead (Bomb New York)" which is part Alan Jackson's "Where Were You (When the World Stopped Turning)," part Toby Keith's "Courtesy Of The Red, White and Blue," part Trey Parker's "America, Fuck Yeah" and a bit of The Onion's signature ridiculousness. In other words, it's pretty hilarious. Also, get an mp3 of the song here.

 

Aerosmith's Joe Perry will hop on stage with the Big Dog Daddy, Toby Keith, to perform an Elvis song for an upcoming ABC News tribute to Elvis.

Toby Keith has some big dog daddy-style plans for this fall. Duder will release A Classic Christmas, which is a two-disc album of traditional holiday songs.

The people have spoken, the dog has barked ... or, uh, something.

Toby Keith explains how he writes hit songs.

Even Big Dog Daddies get hungry baby. For the record, that sentence is completely meaningless.

Despite being the Big Dog Daddy, making appearances on all kinds of TV shows, opening a fourth restaurant and working on developing an acting career, Toby Keith is spending more time than ever with his family.

And if you can't, he's still the Big Dog Daddy. p.s. - That's the 3,543 BDD "joke" I've made.