From anyone else, these quotes could be considered emo.


From Homer Simpson, they're just hilarious.


Enjoy...

 

 

1) "If something's hard to do, then it's not worth doing."


2) "It takes two to lie. One to lie, and one to listen."


3) "When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle. They're on TV."


4) "What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts."


5) "You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try."


6) "I'm never going to be disabled. I'm sick of being so healthy."


7) "You know, Moe, my mom once said something that really stuck with me. She said, `Homer, you're a big disappointment,' and God bless her soul, she was really onto something."


8) "With $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like... love!"


9) "I don't hate your mother, I just won't be sad when she dies."


10) "Crying isn't gonna bring him back...unless your tears smell like dog food. So you can either sit there crying and eating can after can of dog food until your tears smell enough like dog food to make your dog come back, or you can go out there and find your dog."


11) "Being popular is the most important thing in the whole world."


12) "Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'Sir' without adding, 'You're making a scene.'"


13) "We'll die together, like a father and son should."


14) "Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true."


15) "Just because I don't know doesn't mean I don't understand."


16) "Beer: The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems."


17) "Sometimes the only way you can feel good about yourself is by making someone else look bad. And I'm tired of making other people feel good about themselves."


18) "This is absolutely the last funeral we ever take you kids to."


19) "Because they're stupid, that's why. That's why everybody does everything!"


20) "What are you gonna do? Sick your dogs on me? Or your bees? Or dogs with bees in their mouth so when they bark they shoot bees at me?"


21) "What's the point of going out? We're just going to end up back here anyway."


22) "Trying is the first step toward failure."


23) "Yes, honey... Just squeeze your rage up into a bitter little ball and release it at an appropriate time, like that day I hit the referee with the whiskey bottle."


24) "I'm in a place where I don't know where I am."


25) "Anything that requires 12 steps is not worth doing."


26) "The code of the schoolyard, Marge! The rules that teach a boy how to be a man! Let's see... don't tattle, always make fun of those different from you, never say anything unless you're sure everyone feel exactly the same way you do."


27) "Sorry to interrupt your judging me. I have two things to say. One, I'll disconnect the cable after this fight is over. Two, I am not fond of any of you."


28) "It's easy to blame ourselves. But it's even easier to blame Apu."


29) "I've learned that life is one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead."


30) "Just because I don't care doesn't mean I'm not listening."