31. Eddie Vedder - Edward Louis Severson

 

Here's another one that is just so much less badass than the stage name. Pearl Jam fronted by Edward Severson? Probably wouldn't get to spear any Bush masks with that one.

 

 

 

 

30. Funkmaster Flex - Aston George Taylor, Jr.

 

Influential DJ or scion of the House of Lords? You decide.

 

 

Third option: Used car salesman.

 

 

 

29. Muddy Waters - McKinley Morganfield

 

Now, I can't say anything bad about Muddy Dub, but McKinley...are we a mountain here?

 

Lame joke you say? Not as lame as being named McKinley.

 

 

 

 

28. Meat Loaf - Marvin Lee Aday

 

What we're dealing with, here, is "Marvin." Marvin so disliked the name that he changed it to Michael, and finally just went with the Loaf. We're onto you, though, Marvin.

 

Marvin!

 

 

 

 

27. Killah Priest - Walter Reed

 

If you're going to name yourself Killah Priest, you probably are hiding something. It sure doesn't help that he shares his real name with the failing soldier medical center.

 

 

 

 

26. Eric Clapton - Eric Patrick Clapp

 

 

What's worse than The Clap? The Clapp with two p's.

 

 

 

 

25. Kenny G - Kenneth Gorelick

 


It may be sort of cliché to make fun of Mr. Gorelick, but, come on. Nerdy name, nerdy music, nerdy fans. Nerdfuckingfest.

 

 

 

 

24. Aesop Rock - Ian Matthias Bavitz

 

 

Mr. Bavitz had to have suffered a few Long Island-style schoolyard beatings for his birth name.