Real Music Ringtones

Unless you've been under a rock for the last few weeks, you've probably heard the newest phrase to permeate the American vernacular:

Andrew Meyer, the student who evoked images of the Spanish Inquisition with his forceful grilling of John "The Ketchup King" Kerry, was subsequently tasered for his disruptive questioning style. Since the event, many questions have been raised regarding civil liberties, and just how far an American is allowed to go within the confines of "free speech" before someone tasers their ass.

...and like all serious matters dealing with social justice these days, outraged parties took to the streets to protest made hilarious YouTube videos spoofing the plight of Mr. Meyer.

Integrating the majesty of song, and the immediacy of the "remix", dozens of clips have popped up around the web. We've taken the time to assemble the best of these remixes into one convenient place, ranking them based on their informative contribution to society awesomeness, awareness of the larger social issues at hand quality, and proposals for remedying the problem hilarity.

Enjoy!

2007 is the year of the band reunion. From The Police to Van Halen to 'The Smashing Pumpkins,' everybody seems to be getting in on the act. But, who cares about those guys? These are the bands that we actually want to reform.

If you look up the word "emo" online, you'll find that it's a genre of music, popular amongst young people, that is rooted in punk and hardcore.

 

Or is it? Appalled by the emo propaganda circulating the Internet, many local news stations have launched their own "Special Emo Reports." Let's just say these reports get a little overdramatic. If you were a parent, and the only thing you knew about emo culture was what you saw on a local news station, you would probably think that emo is a secret term for depressed teenagers who dress all in black, bend genders, do drugs, cut themselves, and host gay make-out sessions while simultaneously plotting a school shooting and their own suicide. And that's only, like, half-right.

 

Let's take a look at some Emo Reports on local news stations and see what "lessons" we can learn from them. While we're at it, let's also grade each station on its ability to turn a seemingly innocent musical trend into the most dangerous thing that has ever happened to anyone ever.

 

 

1) WDAZ TV - Grand Forks, ND

 

 

 

 

What we "learned" about emo from this video:

 

-Emo is short for emotional.

-Emo fans are expressing their inner pain through their music, clothes and actions.

-Some emo kids cut themselves.

-You get "emo points" for doing certain things, like wearing tight sweaters.

-Emo fans comb their hair to cover one eye so they can see the world in "half view."

-Cutting isn't due to mental illness; emos do it because it's fashionable and cool.

-People with emo friends are very concerned for their well-being.

 

Most dramatic reporter quotes:

 

"Emos, or emotional people, are first noticed by what they wear... but it's what they do that's dangerous."

 

"You hit the jackpot if you attempt suicide!"

 

"We talked to several school districts and this problem is happening all over."

 

Funny reporter name: Lacey Crisp

 

Other top story: There is a snow system developing.

 

Emo News Report Checklist:

 

Did the station interview a psychiatrist for the story? No

Did they pass off an emo parody as an actual song? Yes

Did they interview non-emo kids? Yes

Did the report include Fall Out Boy and/or My Chemical Romance? Yes

Did the report include a non-emo band? No

 

Final Grade: B+.

 

Overall, a good report. Interviewing a police officer was a smart choice, as was the line about the problem spreading to different school systems. It made it sound like they were talking about a deadly flu or something.

 

Click here to read more...

 

Over the course of the past several years, hundreds of modern rock bands have made videos. Now, as we all know, the music industry often banks on repetition or clichés. Here are the keys to making a successful modern rock video...

Countless hours of research were put into these rankings. Thousands of pictures were scanned, hundreds of videos were watched, dozens of Wikipedia entries were combed through, and every woman on the list was thoroughly ogled to ensure a fair and accurate ranking.

Here we showcase 10 musicians who paved the way -- face first -- for Beyonce's painful hilarious nosedive.

As put together by pixie, one of the experts at the fictional Punk Rock Academy, located inside my house, and staffed by me, my boyfriend, and my dog, who only likes Iron Maiden.

Season 5 of the hit TV show "Dancing With The Stars" premiered last night, and millions tuned in to see what this year's contestants had to offer. You may wonder why anyone would want to watch a show about dancing celebrities, but the truth is, dancing has always been one of the pillars of entertainment in our society.

 

Throughout the past century, people have constantly been coming up with new fad dances. When one dance fades, another is there to take its place. The songs, the people, the clothing, the styles, and the morals may all change, but every one of these dances is held together by a common thread.

 

They're all really stupid.

Prepare to get pissed off.

Frat parties are a major part of the collegiate lifestyle. Cheap booze and hot chicks; What's not to love? However, it's an unfortunate fact that frat parties play some of the most annoying music of all-time.