Real Music Ringtones

And I can't really fault them for that. Those things are creepy as hell. However, it appears they also hate Jennifer Lopez, at least if one is to believe the words of an anonymous record executive at the label. Our good friend, a source, was speaking on rumors that J.Lo is about to be dropped by the label after her last album failed to deliver big sales numbers... and he had nothing nice to say. "[She] costs too much money and doesn't sell enough. The woman requires everything short of flying monkeys to get on a stage."

And you think he's exaggerating? Check out her latest press photo:

Well, there you have it.

Beyond that, the singer reportedly requires a $60,000 album cover image and a $8,000 makeup budget per appearance, amongst other things. Jenny.... Jenny... is this how they acted on the block?

And while the stories of her being dropped by the label seem to only come from"a source" and aren't confirmed... she did only sell 53,000 copies of her latest album on its opening week. Coincidentally, this number is approximately the same as the number of times I have seen her Rhapsody.com commercial in the past few weeks, as well. Maybe they just need to show it more. Just a million more times, and she'll be a wild success again....

Note to record labels: please don't do this.

T.I.'s life must suck pretty bad right now. Not only is he facing the possibility of ten years in prison for his trip to the Costco Gun Department, but he also needs his every move to be approved by a judge.

T.I. filed a court motion yesterday asking for permission to host Thanksgiving dinner at his house. The rapper is on house arrest and can't have people over, either.

From AllHipHop:

The rapper also submitted a list of proposed visitors for the judge to approve, who must all undergo criminal background checks.

T.I. is also forbidden from consuming alcohol even if the motion is granted. He must also pay for additional security guards to police the Thanksgiving Day celebration.

He also has to get approval for the guys who clean his house and pool. God, that sounds horrible. I would never want to live like that. I better make sure to never purchase 26 guns and silencers when I'm on probation.

Hopefully the judge will grant T.I.'s wish. Until he's convicted, he at least deserves the right to eat Thanksgiving dinner with his family. Also, I heard he already bought a dozen 3-foot-long semi-automatic turkey knives with silencers to prepare for the feast. It would be a shame if those went to waste.

I guess there's some writer strike or something? I don't know, I didn't get the memo, maybe the memo guy is on strike too. But luckily, you don't need TV or movies, because tomorrow marks the launch of a new XM station called XM LED. While I am positive they could've come up with a better name -- The Frequency Remains The Same? -- this is outstanding news. I love Led Zeppelin, and this station will air previously unreleased material. For all you Zeppelin fans, this can provide a much needed breather when you angrily tune in for the 18th straight "Lost" re-run.

Oddly enough, XM LED is only scheduled to run until May 8th, 2008. After that, I guess you'll have to go back to listening to the classic rock station and only hearing Zeppelin every 10 minutes, plus a 20-minute block of "Get the Led Out" at 8PM.

As previously mentioned, the Zeppelin charity reunion show will take place in one month. So yea, who need writers? Not u, them is worthless you got Zep and athat is good enouhg.

James Blunt, or J-hames Bl-hunt, as he might call himself, has released a new video for the song "Same Mistake."

This video starts out with Blunt in bed with a supermodel. He then wakes up, goes grocery shopping, and rides in a Jeep with the three dudes from Zoolander. It appears there's going to be some semblance of a plot, but all of a sudden, he's back to making out with supermodels. And then the video ends.

This is his "mistake???" Are you joking? "Oh, poor me, I can't stop banging supermodels. Every time I try to not bang a supermodel, I slip up and end up banging another supermodel!!! I keep making the same mistake, OVER AND OVER AND OVER!!!!! WHY, GOD, WHY?!?!?!"

It's a tough life being James Blunt. Here are some of Blunt's other problems...

-Every time he walks outside, money falls on him.

-Everywhere he goes, people can't stop praising him.

-Every time he picks up a guitar, it automatically play the "Stairway to Heaven" solo without him doing a thing.

-Girls always want to clean his house and do his laundry.

-Every time he picks up the money that falls on him, more money falls on him.

How can one man be so cursed?!?

Here is the video for "Same Mistake." If you don't like James Blunt's face, you probably shouldn't watch this...

In case the picture didn't tip you off, Pete Doherty likes to do drugs. The Babyshambles singer admitted to suffering a heroin relapse last week and is now planning a trip to rehab. While many of today's pop stars check into rehab after they're caught doing a Jagerbomb, you know that if Pete Doherty is going, it's the real deal.

For those who don't know, Doherty has a long history of drug abuse. In fact, I can't believe Pete was off drugs long enough for this to be considered a relapse. That's a start, no? Also, unlike many celebrities who become famous for acting crazy and going to rehab, Pete started off by having a music career and then added the public craziness later on. So you have to respect the man, even in these tough times.

I don't get it. Heroin is like the worst thing ever, and yet people keep using it. Heroin must have the same publicist as Larry the Cable Guy.

[PS - I'm not sure if everyone knows what D.A.R.E. is. It stands for Drug Abuse Resistance Education. They make you take it in elementary school, at least my school did. It teaches methods like the "cold shoulder" and "broken record" to help kids say no to drugs. It also works for picking up chicks, though I doubt that was ever the intention.]

Listen, if Diddy's gonna get in a club brawl, then Diddy's gonna get in a club brawl. He's not gonna face charges, because he's Diddy. This well-known fact was once again confirmed when prosecutors decided not to press charges against the rapper in relation to a club brawl from mid-October.

Diddy's attorney said:

Both Mr. Combs and I are pleased that the DA's office and the police department conducted a very thorough investigation and came to this conclusion.

He then continued, "I mean, let's be real, we knew nothing was going to happen. My client is Diddy. How many club brawls has he been involved in? I can think of, like, twenty, and that's just off the top of my head. Some of those involved guns. Whatever. The man sang "Mo' Money Mo' Problems," for crying out loud. We all know he's above the law. We put on this little charade where we act like he could potentially face legal rammifications for his actions, but seriously, we all know the deal. So while we appreciate the court's swift and fair decision, next time, could we just skip the formality? My client is a busy man. He can't spend all his time in court... He has to get out there and get into new nightclub brawls! Thank you."

Time to crack open the Ciroc!

Lily Allen has signed a deal to model for Agent Provocateur. Why, that's the underwear company that did ads with Kylie Minogue. And Kate Moss, and Dita Von Teese, and Maggie Gyllenhaal.

I think it's pretty clear that this Agent Provocateur is the best company ever. Forget competing with Victoria's Secret, they're going to take down Google. Except, these Agent Provocateur ads will probably end on YouTube, and Google owns YouTube, so Google will profit off Agent Provocateur's success. Dammit Google, you win again!

Allen will make six figures for this deal. Between the ads and the money, I'd say we've got ourselves an official Sugar Mama.

If you're a parent looking to make some extra cash by letting your child get molested and then suing, I've got some bad news. Michael Jackson's Neverland Ranch is facing foreclosure.

TMZ has obtained documents showing Neverland on a list of future foreclosures. Of course they did. How long until judges start faxing their decisions directly to TMZ? Anyway, the King of Pop owes over $23 million in delinquent loans. But hey, Thriller made over $4 billion, so all he has to do is release another album one-tenth as good as Thriller. That should be easy enough. Get on it, MJ. And don't even think about hiding out in Bahrain; we've got troops in the area and we will not hesitate to send a couple Marines after your broke ass.

Radiohead's In Rainbows album was supposed to change the entire music industry, but instead, it just showed us how cheap people are.

Radiohead used the honor system for In Rainbows, allowing fans to pay whatever they chose. According to E! Online, 62% of people chose "nothing." Classy. Oddly, Radiohead still made an average of $6 per customer, thanks to the dedicated 4% that paid normal CD prices ($12-$20). The band only needed about $1.50 per person to make back its initial costs, so a $6 average should prove quite profitable.

I'm sure the CEO of PricewaterhouseCoopers is loving this story so far, but since math makes my head hurt, let's break this down in English terms. The entire Internet went crazy about Radiohead's "groundbreaking" policy, then over half of them still didn't pay a dime. I would criticize, but I also got the album for free, and I don't want to be a hypocrite until I have kids. I would also justify this news by bringing up the poor quality and bitrate of the In Rainbows mp3s, except I don't actually know what that means and I just saw some kid on an indie blog complaining about it.

Here's the thing: Getting stuff for free is awesome, and paying for stuff sucks. I know, it's a complicated world we live in, but if you learn to understand that concept, it'll provide you with a lot of clarity.

As she enters her seventeenth trimester, the news that Christina Aguilera is pregnant has been made official. Aguilera will have the baby in early 2008. She, of course, has been pregnant with this child for the past three years (based on US Weekly statistics).

Personally, I don't care about Aguilera being knocked up. I think the whole pregnancy thing is overhyped in our country. Hey, congratulations, you had unprotected sex. I got some girl pregnant last year, and no one was congratulating me. I wasn't on the cover of In Touch. In fact, I only got one card, and it was from some guy named "Judge," and there was no money in it, so I ended up throwing it out.

But here's why this is interesting: Aguilera revealed this news in an exclusive interview with Glamour magazine. That's right, a baby is now officially a press opp! Too bad she doesn't have an album coming out in 2008, she could've really maximized press right before the release. Is it too late to throw together a covers album? I'm gonna call Carrie Underwood, I know she probably won't have another album til '09, but if we get together in mid-2008, we can time this kid up so he's coming out right as Underwood's third album is released. That's gotta guarantee at least a two week run on top of the charts.

Christina told Glamour that she can't wait to "enter into mommyhood." I'm really hoping "mommyhood" becomes the new pregnancy-related phrase for idiots. Sure, it's cheesy, but I'm really sick of hearing people say "baby bump."

She added, "I want to get it right."

Awesome. Let me use this opportunity to post Aguilera's Rolling Stone cover...

Ah, savor that flavor, it won't be available on the '08 menu. Congratulations, Christina.